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Yes, I did ask for opinions..

After reading these replies, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, wtf.. You guys are all right.. I have a lot going for me. Decent looking guy, I'm expanding my Financial Planning practice to a new state, and have an amazing son that looks up to me.

I honestly think I just heard that everything was my fault for the past 3 years, and it's planted into my head..

Love honesty, and as silly as it sounds, think this is what i needed..
It's not silly at all!

Sometimes we lose sight of things and it helps to have someone point out to us that we are worth so much and have the power to not be in a bad relationship.

It sounds like you have a lot going for you and you are lucky to have a son how loves you. Good for you!
 

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Actually, yes, I was abused as a child.
If figured this was the case. A person who was abused as a child often normalizes abuse and allows it in their adult relationships.

This is something you are going to have to learn to protect yourself from.

I was in an abusive relationship for about 14 years. When I left him it got into counseling. During the intake appointment, the counselor asked what I hoped to get out of therapy. I told her that I wanted to learn why I picked an a abuser to marry.

Her response was that the answer is easy. I did not pick him, he picked me. What she told me is that abusers look for people who allow themselves to be abused. In the beginning of a relationship, the abuser will do little tests. A person who has good boundaries will drop the abuser like a bad potato the first time they demonstrated even the smallest bit of abuse. A person who has weak boundaries will make excuses for the abuser and stay. As time goes on, the abuser keeps upping their little tests. Basically the abuser ends up in a relationship with the last person standing... the one who puts up with the abuse and makes excuses. In my case, that was me... :frown2:

That was one of the most helpful things any counselor ever told me. It turned things around for me. I learned how to set boundaries. A boundary is a rule you live by that states what you will not allow in your life.

For example "I will not be with a person who puts me down.", "I will not be with a person who is threatening or physically abusive." Now, in a relationship where the other person does either of those ONCE I'm out of there. I dump them.

There are about 3.5 billion women in this world. You can find one who would be trilled to have a great guy like you and who will treat you like gold.
 
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