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my wife and I have been married 1 year and been together 8. We have 2 beautiful children who are 3 and 1. from early on my wife had high expectations of me e.g. better job, better house. which i struggled with early due to my career in design (lowish paid and limited work) and my conservative nature but managed to adapt to. ultimately, it has really helped me push myself to a point where we were doing really well (as well as you can with a 3 year old and a 1 year old). she has always been a high achiever.
1 year ago a business colleague convinced us to move states for work. our house sale fell through at the last minute but we moved anyway. the work also fell through after 6 months and we had to scramble a little but we both found jobs straight away. we'd also moved to the area my parents lived in. from early on they didn't get on that well with my wife. i supported her and lost a little bit of them. all in all a tough year. i'll admit i was a bit grumpy and tired but thought i was doing ok. i did pick up a few things like - if i got angry at the kids she would blame me for yelling, if she got angry it would be the kids fault. we had a few marriage hiccups and weren't doing great in bed but we put that down to tiredness from young kids - and the bad year.
last month i got a great job and things were really looking good. i felt happy and it was showing. felt great and was planning our future. unfortunately within two weeks of me starting my wife decided she wanted to buy a house (we still own the other one). she spent all of 3 days looking and found one in an outer suburb she had previously not liked. my gut was telling me no as we hadn't quite saved up enough and things would be tight again. i'd always promised myself i would agree to anything like this as she has a good instinct and invariably is right... but at the last minute i said no and she lost it - yelled and screamed about how much she hated her life, me, my parents - how nothing ever worked...etc she's having a few days away with the kids and her mum this weekend. i'm devastated.
to sum it up we had a few issues and a hard year. i have worked non stop though out without a holiday and the kids have had their fair share of colds and flu's keeping us up at night. my wife said the house was to secure our future - i just wanted to be conservative and sell the other first, then buy so we didn't have to worry. what i don't get is we are both putting our family first and trying our hardest. she thinks i'm holding us back and i do it alot. i still love her to bits an look up to her. my actions don't often reflect how i feel and i'm honestly tired of this bad run but want things to work out. i find it hard to communicate how i feel too and talking to other men they go through the same. i feel like my wife has unrealistic expectations.
any advice would be great.
1 year ago a business colleague convinced us to move states for work. our house sale fell through at the last minute but we moved anyway. the work also fell through after 6 months and we had to scramble a little but we both found jobs straight away. we'd also moved to the area my parents lived in. from early on they didn't get on that well with my wife. i supported her and lost a little bit of them. all in all a tough year. i'll admit i was a bit grumpy and tired but thought i was doing ok. i did pick up a few things like - if i got angry at the kids she would blame me for yelling, if she got angry it would be the kids fault. we had a few marriage hiccups and weren't doing great in bed but we put that down to tiredness from young kids - and the bad year.
last month i got a great job and things were really looking good. i felt happy and it was showing. felt great and was planning our future. unfortunately within two weeks of me starting my wife decided she wanted to buy a house (we still own the other one). she spent all of 3 days looking and found one in an outer suburb she had previously not liked. my gut was telling me no as we hadn't quite saved up enough and things would be tight again. i'd always promised myself i would agree to anything like this as she has a good instinct and invariably is right... but at the last minute i said no and she lost it - yelled and screamed about how much she hated her life, me, my parents - how nothing ever worked...etc she's having a few days away with the kids and her mum this weekend. i'm devastated.
to sum it up we had a few issues and a hard year. i have worked non stop though out without a holiday and the kids have had their fair share of colds and flu's keeping us up at night. my wife said the house was to secure our future - i just wanted to be conservative and sell the other first, then buy so we didn't have to worry. what i don't get is we are both putting our family first and trying our hardest. she thinks i'm holding us back and i do it alot. i still love her to bits an look up to her. my actions don't often reflect how i feel and i'm honestly tired of this bad run but want things to work out. i find it hard to communicate how i feel too and talking to other men they go through the same. i feel like my wife has unrealistic expectations.
any advice would be great.