[TBT]

Going back to the work ultimatum. It seems that they're interested enough in trying to keep her. Are you sure that there is no EAP there that covers cost of treatment?

 

[MarmiteC]

There are big questions whether any of that is even legal. Just because that's how he has decided to handle it doesn't mean that it is legal. You could be buying into something that has no validity. So unless you just have a lot of money you can afford to lose, it sounds like a very bad decision.

We've spoken to the title company who have explained the process to add me. I'm not sure why you'd think we'd be doing this without formalities but we are and I will be protected.

 

[MarmiteC]

Update:

We didn't give her the money and she did nothing for herself, so she lost her job. We've ended up having to tell the children also.
She had the boys last weekend, and set them up with Kids Messenger on their phones to call/message her. After the boys were picked up she went on another bender and she was so drunk that she couldn't recognise that a test call made at 10:30am wasn't made at 10.30pm. She went on a rant of messages to my partner about how he isn't taking care of the boys and they shouldn't have their phones at 10.30pm, but sent those messages to her son. 🙈 The following day, her son called her and she answered blind drunk. That's when the messages were seen.

My partner did a great job of explaining the situation factually, without displaying anger about her. They listened well, and the eldest said that a number of things now made more sense. He was so brave about it all. We have offered him counselling, and told him to ask any questions he has.
The youngest wasn't really listening, but he did get upset that messenger had to be removed from his phone, understandably.

So what next? We don't really know. She claims she will get her hands on her 401K now and that she will use some for treatment, but we can only wait and see.

 

[Diana7]

Update:

We didn't give her the money and she did nothing for herself, so she lost her job. We've ended up having to tell the children also.
She had the boys last weekend, and set them up with Kids Messenger on their phones to call/message her. After the boys were picked up she went on another bender and she was so drunk that she couldn't recognise that a test call made at 10:30am wasn't made at 10.30pm. She went on a rant of messages to my partner about how he isn't taking care of the boys and they shouldn't have their phones at 10.30pm, but sent those messages to her son. 🙈 The following day, her son called her and she answered blind drunk. That's when the messages were seen.

My partner did a great job of explaining the situation factually, without displaying anger about her. They listened well, and the eldest said that a number of things now made more sense. He was so brave about it all. We have offered him counselling, and told him to ask any questions he has.
The youngest wasn't really listening, but he did get upset that messenger had to be removed from his phone, understandably.

So what next? We don't really know. She claims she will get her hands on her 401K now and that she will use some for treatment, but we can only wait and see.

So sad for the children.

 

[Cynthia]

That's really sad, @MarmiteC. Addiction is such an evil destroyer of people and relationships.

 

[Numb26]

Update:

We didn't give her the money and she did nothing for herself, so she lost her job. We've ended up having to tell the children also.
She had the boys last weekend, and set them up with Kids Messenger on their phones to call/message her. After the boys were picked up she went on another bender and she was so drunk that she couldn't recognise that a test call made at 10:30am wasn't made at 10.30pm. She went on a rant of messages to my partner about how he isn't taking care of the boys and they shouldn't have their phones at 10.30pm, but sent those messages to her son. 🙈 The following day, her son called her and she answered blind drunk. That's when the messages were seen.

My partner did a great job of explaining the situation factually, without displaying anger about her. They listened well, and the eldest said that a number of things now made more sense. He was so brave about it all. We have offered him counselling, and told him to ask any questions he has.
The youngest wasn't really listening, but he did get upset that messenger had to be removed from his phone, understandably.

So what next? We don't really know. She claims she will get her hands on her 401K now and that she will use some for treatment, but we can only wait and see.

They will make it through this. Just be there for them and listen to them.