Hello,
I am having a difficult time dealing with my ex - wife and what I percieve to be her significant control issues. I would appreciate any contructive comments on how to deal with this phenomenon.
The background:
I was married for over twenty years. My ex wife had an affair and moved out. I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years. I have 4 children with my ex-wife, three are adult girls (21,20, 18) and one son who is 16. The two younger children live with me as the custodial parent. My ex has moved out of state and visits with the younger kids about once a month.
When I was married my ex-wife was "in charge" of family finances and took it upon herself to be the family organizer.
Since our divorce I have single handedly been the emotional and financial hub for our kids. I pay for all the kids medical insurance, co pays, car insurance, cells phones, college expenses and assumed all of the marital debt etc...
The issue is that my ex-wife continues to attempt to micro-manage my life. She uses our children as the means to do this. She is constantly making accusations, demands, and scrutinzing nearly everything I do.
I have tried different strategies - I have asked her to stop. I have ignored the more caustic demands and accusations. I have tried to appease her. All to no avail. She even takes me to family court to "enforce" parts of our divorce decree with regard to our kids that have no merit. (one example she that insisted that I pay back my eldest daughters college loans in a lump sum NOW, while my daughter still has two years of college left and the loans are not due.)
Forget about analyzing the validity of the legal issues (we are both lawyers) Does any one have advice on how to deal with this type of ongoing control issue?
She has lost court hearings before and just keeps coming back for more. Rather than view this as a "legal issue" I am turning to this forum to discuss this as a "mental" or "emotional" issue. I have moved on with my life.
I am interested in peace, not "winning". I have already "won" a number of times. Is there a way to effectively deal with a condition like this? or is it simply a war of attrition?
Thank you for your consideration.
I am having a difficult time dealing with my ex - wife and what I percieve to be her significant control issues. I would appreciate any contructive comments on how to deal with this phenomenon.
The background:
I was married for over twenty years. My ex wife had an affair and moved out. I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years. I have 4 children with my ex-wife, three are adult girls (21,20, 18) and one son who is 16. The two younger children live with me as the custodial parent. My ex has moved out of state and visits with the younger kids about once a month.
When I was married my ex-wife was "in charge" of family finances and took it upon herself to be the family organizer.
Since our divorce I have single handedly been the emotional and financial hub for our kids. I pay for all the kids medical insurance, co pays, car insurance, cells phones, college expenses and assumed all of the marital debt etc...
The issue is that my ex-wife continues to attempt to micro-manage my life. She uses our children as the means to do this. She is constantly making accusations, demands, and scrutinzing nearly everything I do.
I have tried different strategies - I have asked her to stop. I have ignored the more caustic demands and accusations. I have tried to appease her. All to no avail. She even takes me to family court to "enforce" parts of our divorce decree with regard to our kids that have no merit. (one example she that insisted that I pay back my eldest daughters college loans in a lump sum NOW, while my daughter still has two years of college left and the loans are not due.)
Forget about analyzing the validity of the legal issues (we are both lawyers) Does any one have advice on how to deal with this type of ongoing control issue?
She has lost court hearings before and just keeps coming back for more. Rather than view this as a "legal issue" I am turning to this forum to discuss this as a "mental" or "emotional" issue. I have moved on with my life.
I am interested in peace, not "winning". I have already "won" a number of times. Is there a way to effectively deal with a condition like this? or is it simply a war of attrition?
Thank you for your consideration.