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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello friends.

Some of you know my story. Wife had at least a 1 1/2 year affair...EA/PA. The usual story...Lied, denied, blame-shifted, rug swept...etc. I finally got the prof I needed...from POSOM's wife. I Stayed for over a year in false R (she did nothing to help) I finally filed for Divorce after she still claimed she didn't know what she wanted. Our divorce will be final in 3 weeks. We just told the kids this weekend. I have been disconnecting from STBXWW and emotionally moving on as best I can.

Out of the blue, (today) POSOM set me an email that says:

"I think it's time you and I have a talk. I owe it to you."

My blood pressure went through the roof as soon as I saw the message in my inbox.

What are his motives? Should I respond? What good could possibly come of a conversation? Will a conversation with this POS set me back emotionally? What does he want? Is he looking to let go of guilt...WTH???

I am filled with reservations about responding...I would much rather beat him to a pulp!

My question to you is: What should I do...what would you do?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I hear POSOM is getting divorced from his wife. I think it is final this month as well.

I don't know if STBXWW and him are still seeing/talking. I gave up being a detective after I filed for divorce. She claims no but she is not capable of telling the truth when it comes to this clown.
 

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I hear POSOM is getting divorced from his wife. I think it is final this month as well.

I don't know if STBXWW and him are still seeing/talking. I gave up being a detective after I filed for divorce. She claims no but she is not capable of telling the truth when it comes to this clown.
Block his email address. There is no reason to communicate with him.
 

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UGH!!

I got a fb friend request from the xH of the OW the other day (Friday), it made me want to throw my guts up. I was sick all day over it. I finally sent an email said "something up, havent heard from you in a while". He never responded. Leads me to believe he just wanted to creep on my facebook to see if my life was going well but I was worried he had more "bad news" for me.

Anyway, if you are steadfast on your way to recovering from this BS then I wouldnt even give him the time of day. I would simply respond to his email and tell him that it really doesnt matter at this point but you want to acknowledge that you got the email from him, or something like that. OR you could just delete it like it never existed. Im guessing, as the others stated that he is not doing it for you, its for his own selfish reasons!

Sorry for the bump in the road!
 

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Sarcasm - Sure buddy how about lets go play some golf or go to the batting cages or go trap shooting.

My gut reaction is hell no but I would wonder if he has any info that may change they way I deal with my kids and the stbxw.
 

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Did you ever speak with him? Did you ever have an opportunity to tell him what you think of him? If not - maybe now is your chance.

If you've already said your piece - just ignore.

He's feeling guilty and wants to make amends or explain himself.

If it was me, I would speak with him and tell him, in no uncertain terms what I think about him. I would take all of the guilt he is feeling and make him feel worse.

Whatever you do, don't get emotional. Stay cool and calm as you tell the guy what you really think of him and the unvarnished truth about the consequences of his fcking around with a married woman. The calmer you can be, the better.
 

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Really don't see the point myself. Can you think of ANY good could possibly come of it?
 

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don't do it mate.. delete the email, block his address

i can feel your rage where i am sitting, and your temptation to maybe allow a situation to occur where you could vent at(or better yet beat the **** out of) him...

just. ignore. him. the only thing that's 'owed' to anyone is you owe him a knuckle sandwich.. but it's not worth going to jail for. even though it feels like it is. lol.
 

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Hello friends.

Some of you know my story. Wife had at least a 1 1/2 year affair...EA/PA. The usual story...Lied, denied, blame-shifted, rug swept...etc. I finally got the prof I needed...from POSOM's wife. I Stayed for over a year in false R (she did nothing to help) I finally filed for Divorce after she still claimed she didn't know what she wanted. Our divorce will be final in 3 weeks. We just told the kids this weekend. I have been disconnecting from STBXWW and emotionally moving on as best I can.

Out of the blue, (today) POSOM set me an email that says:

"I think it's time you and I have a talk. I owe it to you."

My blood pressure went through the roof as soon as I saw the message in my inbox.

What are his motives? Should I respond? What good could possibly come of a conversation? Will a conversation with this POS set me back emotionally? What does he want? Is he looking to let go of guilt...WTH???

I am filled with reservations about responding...I would much rather beat him to a pulp!

My question to you is: What should I do...what would you do?
Must be a full moon or something, because ironically one of the OW in my STBXH's life contacted me this weekend. :rolleyes:

What should you do? Absolutely nothing. You owe him nothing. You don't even owe him the courtesy of hearing him out. You don't even owe him the courtesy of a reply. Whatever is on his mind, is his own burden to carry. Not your problem. Time to move on. Nothing to see here.

I probably should have taken the above advice, but I'm not so nice. So, I responded to the OW. I was able to trick her into revealing her particular involvement in my marriage, in writing, which helps my case against my STBXH. Then I blasted her a new one and referred her to my attorney if she had anything additional to say. Tossed out like yesterday's trash. :D

Whatever you do, keep it legal (no fist fights allowed). Pick a scenario that helps you and you alone. The AP is unworthy (but can be kind of fun to kick around a bit - figuratively speaking, of course). ;)
 

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Hello friends.

Some of you know my story. Wife had at least a 1 1/2 year affair...EA/PA. The usual story...Lied, denied, blame-shifted, rug swept...etc. I finally got the prof I needed...from POSOM's wife. I Stayed for over a year in false R (she did nothing to help) I finally filed for Divorce after she still claimed she didn't know what she wanted. Our divorce will be final in 3 weeks. We just told the kids this weekend. I have been disconnecting from STBXWW and emotionally moving on as best I can.

Out of the blue, (today) POSOM set me an email that says:

"I think it's time you and I have a talk. I owe it to you."

My blood pressure went through the roof as soon as I saw the message in my inbox.

What are his motives? Should I respond? What good could possibly come of a conversation? Will a conversation with this POS set me back emotionally? What does he want? Is he looking to let go of guilt...WTH???

I am filled with reservations about responding...I would much rather beat him to a pulp!

My question to you is: What should I do...what would you do?
Invite him to go hunting with you. Tell him to wear a fur coat.
 

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My problem, and maybe it's just me. But once you think or question whether you should - you have to do it. If NOT speaking with him was THE answer, then you would not be asking for advice.

That's why I contacted the POSOM in my case (ETA - by email because the guy wouldn't call me) - after obsessing about it for a couple of week's after DDAY2. Keep in mind - this was THREE years after the PA had ended - but my wife had just confessed - so it was fresh in my mind.

Was it satisfying? Not really. But I'm glad I did it, just to close that question. It HAS helped me to move on, because the guy was such an immature jerk about it (denying, blaming, dodging like a child) that it made the whole EA/PA easier to get over. If my stbxw was SO stupid as to throw away her marriage for this POS, then I was better off without her.

But I see you're already way ahead of me in moving on via divorce - so maybe the advice of others is more relevant and appropriate.
 

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Sarcasm - Sure buddy how about lets go play some golf or go to the batting cages or go trap shooting.

My gut reaction is hell no but I would wonder if he has any info that may change they way I deal with my kids and the stbxw.[/QUOTE]

That last part....I would wonder. I would not talk. I would keep it email. If he sends garbage about feeling bad, stop reading and delete. If it has something that may indicate he will be running into you in the future, you might want to know. Either way, emails give you hard evidence to hold onto if you ever need it.
 
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