Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I originally posted in feb. (http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/39476-advice-needed.html) Briefly, I am a widow, 2 years as of 8/19, which was married to the love of my life for 25 years. I met someone on-line (GADS) and 3 months later he relocated to my area. I was scared to death and posted here and got great responses. Now, he lives with me, has a job and we are talking marriage. we have known each other a year now and I am very much in love with him. My best friend, her husband adore him and my other friends really like him too. My family and his family are fine and happy for us. My current thought processes are: 1. marriage is forever, I am fine with that. 2. Is there something I should be considering that I am not thinking about????? I am 55 years old (that sounds older than I am!!!) and he is 50. Financially everything is separate and he is willing to sign a pre nup agreement, as am I. We live in my house which I want him to have a life estate interest in case something would happen to me before him. After all since we are living here I believe he should feel this is his home too.... My other finances are completely separate. We have lived together since March and get along wonderfully. Anything I should consider before I decide to marry? I think I am reasonably intelligent however I have been very blessed in life by being spoiled by love from family and my husband. My adversities have not taught me everything I am sure. I do appreciate any advice......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,815 Posts
Have you gone on line and do a backround check?

Pay the good money for one it may give you some reassurance to who you are about to marry.

Also get his credit score.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,707 Posts
You sound like a damned smart woman to me, particularly when it comes to the finances. I always kept things separate. Actually, it sounds like you have a healthy relationship, which is refreshing to read about.

He's okay with a pre-nup, keeping money/accounts separate, and you have provided a home for your husband-to-be if you predecease him.

Do you have any second thoughts or hesitation in marrying him? For some reason, I just sense you may be having a bit of doubt. I imagine your late husband is a hard act to follow.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Hi the guy.... I did a background check before he came out in Feb. I also had a friend at my bank and ran his credit before he came out. It's funny cause I told him about it too. Prodigal, I feel great about it. I guess my hesitations are weird. I would lying if I didn't say I still think about my husband a lot.... Bruce knows this too. I also know in my heart that my husband wants me to be happy. I guess it's more like.... I'm 55 and getting married?????? that's the first thought. I do want to spend my life with him. I am not really a creature of spontaneity, I plan everything! I will take quick trips etc., but I KNOW where I am going etc. I do see me marrying him though. Crazy aren't I...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,696 Posts
I see no reason to get married unless your going to raise a family.

50% of all marriages fail.

good luck in whatever you decide!

ps mabe you could live together for a long while before you get married.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,946 Posts
You sound like you have covered all your bases.Does he have a prior marital history?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Morning all. He does have a marital history. He was married very young, pregnancy thing. After 4 children his wife became mentally ill and he raised the kids alone and after years their marriage was annulled. I saw the questions, why get married.... Oh my, I thought of that one all night. I can only say that I have always seen marriage as the major commitment. You, as a couple, are one in this world. I was very happily married and even called my husband 'husband', which became the office joke when I started working with him in his law office in 1992. I like the idea knowing that my 'guy' is attached to me legally as I am him. Damn, guess those ideas show my age. Plus, I am a practicing catholic and I am sure that has some bearing on my opinions. I really think now, I will marry this man, maybe next summer. The only kids we have are the 13 pets.... dogs and cats. Thanks..... I feel better. I feel I haven't missed something major I should be considering. I do not plan on a divorce, that's what I want to avoid.... that and being taken advantage of.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top