[Spotthedeaddog]

I posted my story before, but the basics are:
I wasn't a good husband. It involved an EA, alcohol abuse and anger issues. Wife left me a year ago. We've stayed in pretty constant contact. We've had numerous occasions of physical intimacy. Meetings for holidays and birthdays, etc. Several dates.

She's stated that she needed out of the situation I created, has moved to a new city (1.5 hrs away) is getting an apartment and has gone back to school which was always a goal. I've tried to send her a sizable amount of money from each check I've gotten. I wasn't motivate during the first year of separation but I've sober now, reliable and have my issues that lead to her leaving under control and out of my life.

Here as some of my confusions posed as a good/bad list.

The Good:

• she's recently called me a standup guy
• she's stated I am more mature and not stuck on getting my way
• we go on dates
• we have sex
• she says "i love you" (never "i'm not in love with you")
• she's mentioned me spending thanksgiving this year with her family
• She seems happier now that I have stopped begging and worked on myself
• her showing of affection has increased
• she will say she misses me and thinks of me.
• she has planned weekends for her to visit me and hike, stay the night.

The Bad:

• her dating is an option, I've accepted but jealousy is a current issue
• I don't know if her "love" is the same kind as mine. I'm afraid to ask and push her away.
• I don't know if sex is as emotional for her as it is for me or more of a familiar physical intimacy. Again, afraid to ask.
• There's no talk of us reconciling. No end date in mind
• Financially I'm stressed but I love her and she left because of the situation I created.
• I'm worried of becoming a plan b or the man she loved but is leaning towards it never working out

I realize no one is a mind reader, but I feel like I have reason to hope and perhaps she is afraid and cautious to reveal to much. I understand why she'd feel that and respect her desire to have space to figure out what she wants for her life.

We've been together since she was 15 and I was 17 (14 years ago). I know that young love is dangerous and people change. We've always been very close spent all of our time together. I killed her trust and faith in me, so I realize I have a LONG road ahead of me. I'm willing to spend the time, be patient and take any hits that come my way for the sake of her coming back.

She's getting what she wants, and making little to no effort to get it.
Things are likely to rapidly change when that entitlement lifestyle she's got used to changes.

You've spoilt her in your guilt - and given her no reason to seek reconcilation (or anything else). why shouldn't she just keep doing what she's doing?

Have you found what caused the root of your anger/pain/frustration issues? Is it resolved entirely? Not just the Cognitive Behavior Sheep stuff, but actually worked out your triggers, your weaknesses, and got your life in order, and support structure worked out? If you are ready to move forwards, then time to start pulling back on the free giveaways and buying her attention.
When you're equals in the relationship and both contributing, and both getting what you want from it, and knowingly so, you can move forwards - sadly I'm betting that as soon as sugar-daddy dries up she's going to move on to the next one - because that's what YOU taught her.