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1,647 Posts
Best case scenario:
She hasn't gone dark no contact on you or initiated divorce proceedings. She seems willing to give you an opportunity to earn back her trust, but meanwhile she's becoming more self-sufficient because right now she doesn't feel she can rely on you. You could keep plugging away at demonstrating how you've changed and hopefully she'll come around to believe that you are now genuine, and move the relationship back to husband and wife instead of the long distance friends with benefits you've got going now. She may be dating to see if there's someone better out there, or simply saying so to test your dedication to her.
Worst case scenario:
She's leading you on so that you'll keep sending her money. Meanwhile, she's dating, and if she finds someone better than you, she'll keep you on the line as long as she can, but drop you when you're no longer necessary.
The truth is probably somewhere in between, and the hard part is pinpointing it because it's a moving target.
How long is the school program she's in? What is her response if you suggest that you could move to be nearer to her? Are the contacts with you steady-state or slowly increasing? (Or lessening) Does she ever talk about her long-term plans? What is her response if you are unable to send her money one month due to some unexpected expense. Does she get mad or do you brainstorm how to handle it as a team? Are you in counselling or therapy, to work on yourself with the goal of being a better person, not just of winning her back?
She hasn't gone dark no contact on you or initiated divorce proceedings. She seems willing to give you an opportunity to earn back her trust, but meanwhile she's becoming more self-sufficient because right now she doesn't feel she can rely on you. You could keep plugging away at demonstrating how you've changed and hopefully she'll come around to believe that you are now genuine, and move the relationship back to husband and wife instead of the long distance friends with benefits you've got going now. She may be dating to see if there's someone better out there, or simply saying so to test your dedication to her.
Worst case scenario:
She's leading you on so that you'll keep sending her money. Meanwhile, she's dating, and if she finds someone better than you, she'll keep you on the line as long as she can, but drop you when you're no longer necessary.
The truth is probably somewhere in between, and the hard part is pinpointing it because it's a moving target.
How long is the school program she's in? What is her response if you suggest that you could move to be nearer to her? Are the contacts with you steady-state or slowly increasing? (Or lessening) Does she ever talk about her long-term plans? What is her response if you are unable to send her money one month due to some unexpected expense. Does she get mad or do you brainstorm how to handle it as a team? Are you in counselling or therapy, to work on yourself with the goal of being a better person, not just of winning her back?
