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As enticing as this sounds, probably not realistic.
1. tell the boss you need 3-4 weeks due to extraordinary, once in a lifetime circumstances. (97 out of 100 times I’d understand my employee and not keep a man giving off with a strong, long rage depression Wi-Fi signal at a workplace)
2. Click, click, click and in less than 24 hours you’re in Madrid, in a new world.
3. That’s it.

After 4 weeks he’ll have enough neurons rewired that he’ll be a person ready for a fresh start, otherwise, it’ll end up costing him a lot more over the longer term, if he develops PTSD just to keep his (I’m guessing) likely a very replaceable job
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
@desperateindenver ,

Since it's what you asked for, I am going to ONLY focus my response on "how to survive the next month in a hotel."

First, I'd bring some personal, sentimental items with you, so that you can make your hotel room as much 'yours' as possible. I'm not saying you should store all your boxes in the room--but bring some things that are yours that mean something to you so it feels like 'your place' and not just 'a place.'

Next, I'd make specific plans for having the kids regularly. At 11 and 14 your children are not toddlers so they should be able to manage some of the newness of being out-of-the-house and with you. Begin to start navigating getting them up and ready for school by yourself--and doing homework, feeding them, and getting them to bed at night by yourself. And while you have them, take time to show them your new apartment, describe how the three of you will decorate the new apartment to make it YOURS, ask them what they want in the new apartment, etc. The more you can include them in the plans, the more they'll feel like it's also their home too.

Next, I'd begin planning the move. Moving to an apartment from your former marital home will involve packing your items, moving them maybe into storage, organizing what furniture will be yours and what will be hers, etc. And when you realize you'll have a bed but no kitchen pans...go buy some kitchen pans! Get ready to make the new apartment a family-friendly home...and not just a bare bachelor pad.

Finally, I wouldn't spend a bunch of time "in the hotel room" moping around. That doesn't do anyone any good...and I'm an introvert, so I'm not talking about going out to the bars or anything. Instead, I'd say stay at work until you feel like the task is completed, or take yourself out to dinner, or go for a walk, or go to the gym and sweat! There is a whole world of things out there that you've wanted to do that you couldn't/chose not to because you were married. Well, now you can go do them! Go to church. Volunteer. Go to the car museum or a car show. Meet up with old friends. Go on a nature hike. Browse a bookstore ALL DAY LONG if you want to. I don't know what your interests are, but you get my drift, right?
Excellent. Thank you
 

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Looking for advice, support, something, thanks.
I've had extended hotel stays before and it can get pretty boring. All of the stuff at home that keeps you occupied isn't there - just a bed, tv, shower... then you have the noise and smells. The showers are usually pretty nice.

Try to find a gym or ymca close that has a pool, sauna, etc. Even if you don't work out a lot just doing those things can help break up the time. If you have friends nearby you can offer to help come do things at their house like some kind of project work. I'd avoid titty bars. Wednesdays are half price nights at Dave and Busters and I always love those coin pushers lol. Learning new things is nice like maybe sewing at hobby lobby.

If you are going to stay in the room for a while, I'd recommend doing something active rather than passive. Playing a video game instead of binge watching tv. Write a journal. Audiobooks are good. The time passes faster.
 

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I've come to terms with the end of our marriage. It was amicable, but now my wife wants me OUT. I signed a lease on an apartment, but it's not ready until the end of October. I'm looking forward to it, but...

The idea of staying in a hotel for a month has me depressed, overwelmed... My kids say they'll come stay with me some, but I feel like I'll be alone most of the time, in a place that's not mine.

So, did any of y'all stay in a hotel?

Do you have any advice for how to keep my sanity for a month? How to make it as inviting to my kids as possible. They're 11 and 14 and will likely just take turns staying with me as the hotel I'm looking at only has two beds.

I do realize that I am more fortunate than many, but that does not help my emotional state.

Looking for advice, support, something, thanks.
It’s currently your home too. Let her go to a hotel. Stop being a pushover.
 

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If you are certain you want to stay in a hotel, then call ahead and ask about a discount on a long term stay. Some places will offer that for you. With that said, like others, I would also say you should not leave. Once you walk out, she wins. That's you giving up your house and kids if you have them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
If its all so amicable, then surely you can stay in the house for just 4 weeks? It will save a lot of money as well.
It was, but now she's upset, says she can't be in the same house with me. I asked why, got vague answer.

I told her it'd be fair if she stayed in the hotel the first two weeks, then I do, then move straight to my apartment from there.
 

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It was, but now she's upset, says she can't be in the same house with me. I asked why, got vague answer.

I told her it'd be fair if she stayed in the hotel the first two weeks, then I do, then move straight to my apartment from there.
The hotel is a waste of money. Get yourself a VAR and stay in the house until your apartment is ready. Get your balls back man.
 

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So, did any of y'all stay in a hotel?
Only for a few short couple of weeks while I looked for a small inexpensive apartment while the divorce was going on.

Do you have any advice for how to keep my sanity for a month? How to make it as inviting to my kids as possible. They're 11 and 14 and will likely just take turns staying with me as the hotel I'm looking at only has two beds.
It's only for a month right? You have the rest of the time while they are growing up to make a better 2nd home for them. Don't worry about it. Chances are they'll think a hotel is cool. It will be like they are on vacation(especially if it has a pool)

And the get take out food as well! Kids LOVE McD's....pizza ordered...etc.
 

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Your home is where your mind is.
If your mind wishes to remain in that house, then stay.

Sit outside, in another room away from her that month.

You love the outdoors, spend a lot of time hiking and biking, fishing, whatever.

Winter is approaching, yes, depending where you live, that will hinder some outdoor activities

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I read your other posts, your marriage is toast.

She greatly resents you.

It is not clear why.

I know you suffer from anxiety, have you seen a doctor about this?

A lot of the anxiety-depression medications make your mind go flat and often interfere with sexual functioning.

Get on one that does not have those side effects, if possible?


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Get in shape, lose that substantial extra weight, not for her, but for yourself, and for any future dating success.

You will live longer and healthier if you remain at a reasonable weight.
 

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I know one good rule because I was recently in a hotel on the island of Aruba. Always follow the dress code of the hotel. The dress code may vary from hotel to hotel. In hotels of a more accessible rank - it is enough not to appear in flip-flops and shorts. In any case, you can always check at the hotel reception if there is a dress code. This information is usually in the envelopes in which you are given room admission cards or in the booklets on the bedside table. Also, before you go, it's best to check the place you're going to for safety How Safe Is Aruba for Travel? (2022 Updated) ⋆ Travel Safe - Abroad. That way, you'll have peace of mind about your safety.
 
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