A marriage is a union between two people who love each other. Over the past few decades, the definition of marriage has expanded beyond the traditional meaning. For centuries, marriage was defined as a union between a man and a woman, but today that definition is less strict.
Though the definition of what a marriage looks like has changed, certain other changes are not coming quite so quickly. For example, there is still a double standard in many marriages. One spouse is often expected to carry more of the load in childcare, cooking, and other household tasks. Keep reading to see some tips for addressing the double standard in traditional marriages.
Here are some of the most common double standards in marriage and tips for addressing them:
1. Meeting each other’s needs.
In a traditional marriage, it is fairly common for the woman to expect her emotional needs to be met before engaging in sex while the husband expects his sexual needs to be met before focusing on the wife’s emotional needs. A simple way to prevent frustration is to consider your spouse’s needs before your own and to take the initiative to act first – someone has to.
2. Spending time with each other’s family.
It is natural for a person to want to spend as much time with family as possible, but in a marriage there are two families. In-laws don’t always get along which can lead to additional stress and strain if one spouse doesn’t feel like they are getting enough time. To address this issue, have an open discussion about each other’s family and any issues you have experienced. If you both understand where the other is coming from, you’ll be better able to handle the challenges as they arise.
3. Balancing your spending habits.
Some people tend to be more frivolous than others, but it is also fairly common for these people to become critical when their spouse exhibits the same behavior. The best way to handle it is to have a discussion about your finances and, if appropriate, to create a budget. You can also simply decide how much of your earnings should go toward family expenses and how much is left for personal spending.
4. Spending time with friends.
You and your spouse don’t necessarily need to have the same friends, but it is naturally for someone to want their spouse to like and spend time with their friends. If you don’t like your spouse’s friends, have an open conversation with your spouse about it to see if you can come to an understanding. You may also need to address insecurities surrounding a spouse who has friends of the opposite sex.
5. Evenly dividing household chores.
In a traditional marriage, it is often the woman who is expected to do most of the cooking and cleaning. In a modern marriage, however, both partners are just as likely to be working a full-time job and should share the load equally. If you don’t feel like your partner is carrying their weight, have a discussion about it or consider divvying up specific tasks to ensure equality.
No marriage is perfect but if you and your partner truly love and respect each other, you’ll do what it takes to make your marriage as equal as possible.
VS Glen, Community Support