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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
For those of you who've been reading my update thread, my husband and I are going through a bit of a trial and error period. We're reading His Needs, Her Needs. His number one need is Recreational Companionship.

His number two is Sexual Fulfillment.

So, in the past we've had some really spicy sex. He used to ask me to striptease for him. And, not to brag or anything, I was pretty good. :) But it's been ages since he's asked me strip for him. I have rarely felt so sexy or proud of myself. Although sex is his second need and my fifth, it's still a need and I love to see and hear how sexy he thinks I am.

So, instead of being hurt and sad and whiny, I've been trying to think of ways to drive him sexually crazy. Since getting off of the BCP, my drive has gradually increased(thank GOD), and the pain I was experiencing during intercourse has disappeared. So that's a major plus, but I still crave some specific things and...I guess I don't want to ask for them. One reason I like the pictures and the strip teasing was specifically because he asked me for them. That made me feel good.

So, any advice you can give I'm open for. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Am I misreading this? You want him to do some specific things to/for you? I hope he's mind reader ;)
No, they're things I want to do to/for him, and I want him to ask me for them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Don't wait for him to ask... give him a strip tease.
Tell him to lay back and he can not touch you until you tell him to.

Have fun... tease him
I'm sure he would love this. I guess I'm hung up on how I felt when he used to ask me to strip.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
What are you craving? Perhaps we could help you in how to ask for it and make it sound like his idea.
I'm sure it'll sound silly, but I really do miss him asking for me to strip. It was a bit of a turn on for me, it built my confidence like nothing else, and it set the tone for great lovemaking. And when he used to take sexy pics of me.
 

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I'm sure it'll sound silly, but I really do miss him asking for me to strip. It was a bit of a turn on for me, it built my confidence like nothing else, and it set the tone for great lovemaking. And when he used to take sexy pics of me.
Tell him how hot and sexy you felt when he took sexy pics of you... I would not have be told that twice before I would be arranging a photo shoot.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Tell him how hot and sexy you felt when he took sexy pics of you... I would not have be told that twice before I would be arranging a photo shoot.
I'll try this and see how he responds. I think one reason I'm wary of bringing it up is that I'm afraid he won't respond with as much excitement as I'd like him to. But I can't see the future, and I'm not being fair to him or myself if I don't give him the chance...
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
This is part of your number one need, admiration. You need to bring it up.
Good point! I hadn't even realized it, but you're right. It is. And that explains why I want him to ask me to strip, or ask to take pictures so much.

The lights keep coming on the more I learn about myself and the specific needs we each have. I should have read this book a long time ago. :D
 

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No, they're things I want to do to/for him, and I want him to ask me for them.
If it's been a while since they were last done, he may think they aren't on the table anymore. Just do them and see how he reacts. If it's positive, tell him he's welcome to start asking for them again.
 
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One morning, out of the blue, say "you should ask me to strip for you sometime. Or do a lap dance. I miss doing that".

I guarantee that he'll ask for it soon after that.

Do you have smart phones? How about video sexting? You're in the bedroom with a magic wand masturbating while he's at the office or in the living room watching on his phone?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
One morning, out of the blue, say "you should ask me to strip for you sometime. Or do a lap dance. I miss doing that".

I guarantee that he'll ask for it soon after that.
I've said that before and it's not happened...maybe I should say it more passionately?

Do you have smart phones? How about video sexting? You're in the bedroom with a magic wand masturbating while he's at the office or in the living room watching on his phone?
We do have smart phones. Sometimes we sext...My current phone doesn't let me send videos, unfortunately...but I sometimes send him steamy messages. He's always enjoyed them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
"Honey, I loved strip teasing for you, is there a reason you haven't asked me to do that lately?"
Asked this around a year ago. He shook his head and said, "No. Not really." And that was it....


Sure left me confused.
 

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Mood has alot to do with it I'm sure. Dont know how to tell you to be able to tell if his mood is right for it or not. Not trying to discourage you or anything, but it would be a big bummer to set the stage and all and get rejected. I guess all that ties in with the issues here.
 

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Do you feel that this is one of the way's you feel your top need
( admiration ) is being met.

By him asking you to strip tease it shows a great deal of admiration for you ( ? )
 

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Asked this around a year ago. He shook his head and said, "No. Not really." And that was it....


Sure left me confused.
Then he doesn't want you to do it.
 

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If you want to add a little spice, I like to recommend cumin, for obvious reasons.

(Thankyew, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff.)
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Mood has alot to do with it I'm sure. Dont know how to tell you to be able to tell if his mood is right for it or not. Not trying to discourage you or anything, but it would be a big bummer to set the stage and all and get rejected. I guess all that ties in with the issues here.
That could be. He has a hectic work schedule, so it could be that the stripping implies that he has to work for yet something else when he'd rather relax for the day.
 
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