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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Had a decent marriage. The other night I was on my phone and my husband accused me of texting someone. Said he saw the whole thing.. He really believes this... but I didn't- I have no one to communicate with I am not even on social media. Anyways- he basically asked me to come home and is not treating me like dirt and saying this is the "new me" how do you like it etc....


I really am at my wits end. I feel like I should have just stayed gone. I can see if I did something wrong but I didn't. I don't think this is on purpose... he really believes I was texting another man.

I offered a lie detector everything and now that I am here I am being treated like such crap... any advice?
 

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Don't put up with it. Is he trying to cover something on his end?
 
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Is he mentally ill?

Is he projecting onto you because he is hiding something, using your imagined cheating as an excuse to bring his real cheating out in the open?

Either way, you don't have to put up with this crap.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Is he mentally ill?

Is he projecting onto you because he is hiding something, using your imagined cheating as an excuse to bring his real cheating out in the open?

Either way, you don't have to put up with this crap.
I think he def has some issues... but things were fine before this. We just got back from a nice vacation.. He really believes I did something...
 

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Well, this does not make sense. Did your ask him to show you the communication? It almost sounds like you should get him to the ER, maybe he has an aneurysm or blood clot, something wrong with his brain.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Well, this does not make sense. Did your ask him to show you the communication? It almost sounds like you should get him to the ER, maybe he has an aneurysm or blood clot, something wrong with his brain.
He told me I deleted it...
 

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So just offer to him that y’all can go to one of those phone hacker guys and have everything recovered and he can look at it.
The truth is that if he isn’t looking for a simple solution like above then he is likely the one doing something sneaky.
The solution is easy ..... the problem is something else... not a “deleted text”
 

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Has there been anything else like this in your history? Have you ever texted someone in the past?
 
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- how long have you been married?
- any children?
- anything else going on that you haven't mentioned yet?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Why does he think this, and so strongly? Were you doing something to try to make him jealous? Is he just losing it?

Do you think he is cheating?
I don't think so.... but who knows... I really believe he thinks that I did this! He said he saw me text.. um I was on my newsfeed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
  • how long have you been married?
  • any children?
  • anything else going on that you haven't mentioned yet?
6 years married and it's a blended family. I went thru HELL w/ his ex wife (her giving up the youngest kid to us the week after we got married) then calling CPS multiple times. Her suicide threats etc.. There's so much here I cannot even name them all that really still goes on to one degree or another. We have no kids together and my own son is 23 and lives on his own. He has 3 children from his previous and the youngest is 12- she has lived w/ us for 6 years (others are grown). At first I almost left because of that.... It was really draining and a lot to deal with when a kid gets basically tossed out from her mother. Not to mention I really don't have much of a voice when it comes to certain things because it's a shared custody. However the mother only sees her really 2 full days a month.

But outside of that nothing really crazy between us when it comes to being sneaky. The main problems I would ever have were with his ex and it was hard dealing w/ a child again that really has 2 lackluster parents.
 

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No I never have honestly- but he does have trust issues
Yeah, a lot of time that is projection. I would stand my ground but I would also not escalate as it will not be productive. Try to respond unemotionally and use logic and reason. If this is kind of a sea-change in your relationship though, then there may be something more to this on his end.
 
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Had a decent marriage. The other night I was on my phone and my husband accused me of texting someone. Said he saw the whole thing.. He really believes this... but I didn't- I have no one to communicate with I am not even on social media. Anyways- he basically asked me to come home and is not treating me like dirt and saying this is the "new me" how do you like it etc....


I really am at my wits end. I feel like I should have just stayed gone. I can see if I did something wrong but I didn't. I don't think this is on purpose... he really believes I was texting another man.

I offered a lie detector everything and now that I am here I am being treated like such crap... any advice?
When people accuse you of cheating when you definitely have not or given them even reason to think so, they are projecting what they would do if they had a chance on to you. He thinks because he would take that opportunity that everyone else would too. He is the one with cheating on his mind.
 

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Maybe someone is planting these thoughts in his head? Who has been in communication with recently?
 
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