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Discussion Starter #1
It has been ages since I have posted here. I have been incredibly happy and healthy. Ha, so I thought. Something has been up with the girl I've been seeing and I'm literally about to hear it.

I've known for some time now that something was up. I even know who it is. Been ignoring it all this time b/c she makes me so happy. My senses are much keener since my ex wife cheated. I say things about it to my new girl occasionally and she always says I'm crazy. Well, tonight I pressed it and for whatever reason she said she wants to tell me something but is afraid b/c she knows I'll never speak to her again and hate her.

Had to get the kids to bed so she is calling any minute now.
I know I'm about to hear that it has happened to me again. Sh!t, this is horrible. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I sure hope she tells the truth that I already know in my gut. What I don't know is how I will react. This is crazy. I really really hope she comes clean. Just don't know.

Life after divorce! Dang, not sure its much better :scratchhead:

Stay tuned...
 

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Oh, I'm so sorry sd212.

Don't ignore your gut. Its the one thing that saves yourself from danger usually.

And take time to make a decision, but if it was me, and I was dating someone who cheated, I wouldn't stay. Dealing with it in my failed marriage is more than enough in my lifetime. I will never attempt R again.
 

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You know, sometimes I wish I could be one of those people that does whatever makes me happy without worrying about what others think and feel. I wish I could have the ability to twist everything around and make it sound like I was the one being cheated.

I feel for you. This is why I am scared to death to give myself to anyone ever again. Worst pain in my life.
 

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Thanks for the kind words all. Yep, I told her I'm out.

@vi_bride04 You are dang right about the gut. I felt it the first time and it was exactly the same this time. Really something how your head can talk you out of it if you're not careful.

@Paradise I wish I could too. Glad I'm not but life sure would be easier. This woman just made sure she was taken care of all this time. Did I mention the OM is married?? Craziness.


I know she is going to try to keep talking to me so I'll have to ignore her and all that which sucks. Life after divorce all over again. I didn't sleep at all last night. Ugh.
 

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@Paradise I wish I could too. Glad I'm not but life sure would be easier. This woman just made sure she was taken care of all this time.

I didn't sleep at all last night. Ugh.
Learning to be selfish about your core relationships takes practice. Remember, you don't have to compromise and collaborate with everyone, just ONE person you CAN trust and adore, and who adores you right back. It's not selfish to want that, and to weed out everyone who doesn't make the cut. Giving the benefit of the doubt in a relationship is one thing, giving and giving expecting to have your needs met, without ongoing proof from the get-go that it's going to happen, is entirely a different matter. It's difficult to be somewhat selfish when you see that as a negative trait in others. Often they are doing what comes naturally, and at an appropriate level, it's admirable, at some point though it does become despicable.

As for sleep, take something so that you can minimize suffering.
Sleep deprivation makes everything worse, clouds and confuses your thinking.
 

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I know she is going to try to keep talking to me so I'll have to ignore her and all that
The next time she calls, tell her you're sorry but you have to leave for an appointment to be tested for STDs (which you SHOULD be doing, btw). I doubt she would call you again! ...I wouldn't ;)
 

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Sorry SD but good for you for ending it. Period. This is what scares me about starting over. How to trust again?

Good luck. Take care of yourself.
 

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Expose the OMW.

As for the girl, explain to her that a guy would have to insane and desperate to even thing about dating a cheater, especially a cheater who cheated with a married guy.
 
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