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He says that He does what He sees the Father doing, so His spiritual learning came directly from God His own Father. No better teacher than the one who created everything.
So happy you found your Dharma door... peace be with you!
 

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There is no Rapture without the total tolerance of others, of other life forms.

Father forgive them for they know not, what they do, was that understanding, that forgiveness.

THE WAY is accepting all things, good and bad.
 
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@Affaircare and @Emerging Buddhist ...

I was reading an article from a website (you may know of) called Evolving Wisdom, and the author made a statement that I would LOVE to have your thoughts and interpretations on...

He said -- Authentic Freedom means feeling deeply without reacting

I find this statement to be VERY profound, especially as an intensely emotional person!!!

HOW would YOU live this...?
 

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@Affaircare and @Emerging Buddhist ...

I was reading an article from a website (you may know of) called Evolving Wisdom, and the author made a statement that I would LOVE to have your thoughts and interpretations on...

He said -- Authentic Freedom means feeling deeply without reacting

I find this statement to be VERY profound, especially as an intensely emotional person!!!

HOW would YOU live this...?
I find that the peace God gives enables me to do that more as time passes. Not always easy as I feel passionately about things, but His inner peace can achieve that.
 

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I find that the peace God gives enables me to do that more as time passes. Not always easy as I feel passionately about things, but His inner peace can achieve that.
Thank you for this.

I have found in my own spiritual journey that I've benefited from exploring every avenue that God has sparked my interest in, whether religious or secular or "New Age". I celebrate ALL spiritual differences because they are almost always coming from a similar seeking place.
 

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If you live your emotions as a corner to be backed in to, you will see yourself confined far too often and begin to respond in kind to find yourself reacting to every voice that disagrees with your emotion de jour (of the moment).

Have you ever tried to love defensively? Quite a challenge with "shields up" if possible at all!

I have practiced "buffering life with kindness", which has taken decades to feel successful with and as a daily thought process in my life. I wake with it, practice it as I face daily challenges, and go to bed with it. As I am patient and loving with my emotions and as I read the news or find balance in maintaining much of the military training that is me by nature, I am patient and loving with my emotions to others.

In that, I feel free of the chains of reaction from deeply felt emotions... they do not control me and allows me to be authentic and accepting in times where emotions and reactions of others are less controlled. Kindness at times can be mistaken as weakness by some... I have faced several challenges that way as others have tried to take advantage to be sorely disappointed in the outcome, but being free to be authentic you accept that you can only control you and that others perceptions are theirs to own, not yours to react to or prove.

People may often find themselves locked into their reactions with little room to manoeuvre... or little freedom. We often call these "walls", and you can see much farther without them I've learned. Since I am deaf, it also allows to "hear" (understand) better than I could when my hearing was sound.

From 17-33 years old I was trained to react, I spent the following 15 years suffering that... now I am able to understand the balance of desires that influence authentic freedom and the strength of a kind breath as loving myself better means loving others better.

Peace be with you as you explore this... namaste.

Edited for grammar...
 

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We are free to be judgmental.

Rare, is any Judge who is a free person.
 
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Thank you for this.

I have found in my own spiritual journey that I've benefited from exploring every avenue that God has sparked my interest in, whether religious or secular or "New Age". I celebrate ALL spiritual differences because they are almost always coming from a similar seeking place.
God has led me to walk with His Son Jesus Christ. All other spiritual paths take me away from Him.
 

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In @LisaDiane 's thread (Need Input About MY Family Drama...) she asked @Emerging Buddhist and I to start another thread "about this way of BEING." At the time, I thought to myself "What in the world does she mean? What way of being?" as, to me, this is just how I am. But I thought about it throughout the day, and as I pondered, I think I came to realize she was kind of asking, "How did you get to be how you are?" Clearly, I wasn't born this way! LOL Okay, I think I have somewhat of a nature for loving people, but you know... I was a kid and did foolhardy things, and I got married and was married all wrong, and life came along and even death came along.

But boy, how in the world do you write "about this way of being"? That puzzled me. I thought I would just get it started, and see where it goes. Right now I am learning about "practice" so I thought I would start where I am learning and what I am thinking. Feel free to jump in at will!

So I consider myself a Christian, and by that I mean someone who follows Christ's teachings. As such, I tend to study them, and by study I mean that I look up the original Greek words, I investigate what that word meant in it's fullest definition, I read surrounding context to see if I can catch a glimpse of the intent, and I research some history so I can tell what was going on in the world at that time that might be relevant to the meaning. And then, after all that, I think about each word, and why that word was chosen and not some other word. I think about what truth was trying to be communicated. I think about my own self and what that means TO ME and how it might change me--how I act or think or feel. And then I PRACTICE.

There are several things in my life that I am practicing right now. Practice, to me, means that I haven't mastered it yet, but I am continuously working on it, trying again, getting it wrong, evaluating and adjusting, trying again, doing better, and gradually improving. For me, practice often means changing the way I think, because changing your thoughts changes your feelings and actions. I find I often think in ways that are not best for me, and so I think of those thoughts as the "issues" I'm dealing with, and I PRACTICE changing my thoughts. I also PRACTICE being the woman I want to be. Of course, I'm not perfect at this!! LOL Far from it!! But as I go along, I see that I did this and this and this alright, and that and that and that not so much...so tomorrow I'll work on the first that and see if I can practice something different. In an even simpler way, I also PRACTICE Tai Chi. I have been learning it for about ... well shoot about 1 1/2 years I think. But I'm really not very good yet. It's something that is a practice. I discipline myself to do it. But sometimes not, and so I practice the discipline. When I do it, I practice the forms and sometimes I place my foot just right and I think "Oh that's it!" and I feel confidence that I am getting that form...and as it flows to the next form, I don't put my hand into the right position and forget part. The point, though, is that it is all practice.

So that's the current lesson I'm considering "about this way of being." It's not a state. It's a practice. I'm still practicing. I'll have to practice as long as I live. But my hope is that maybe I'll master some of it...this way of BEING.
I like this.
 

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As the world spins itself in far too many different directions we see the cause and effect of being pulled in to the suffering of other. The noble truths share up front that suffering will exist and at some point we cannot help but suffer with it. AC and I have discussed the center of "do no harm" and realize that if there is a pillar in a marriage, this must be one.

When we committed to build a relationship with another, I shared for me there was one simple standard... do not lie, cheat, or steal and I'll honor the same. These honors may sound like they are limited to the requirements that marriage brings, but when you apply them to words and actions they touch every second of every minute or every day we are together.

We seldom see lie, cheat, or steal in it's full measure... we hardly apply it to the time we should spend cultivating our relationship, the thoughts we train our minds to be healthy with, the actions we use as we practice compassion. Relationships are not meant to be "cat and mouse" actions that build resentments and stonewall connections, they are healthy when up front and open, patient and kind in communications.

A sure way to sabotage love is to practice criticisms, promote feelings of contempt, defensiveness, or evasive behavior. Every one of these goes directly against a practice of "do no harm" as once cannot behave as such without hurting another but like many we attend that concert and got that t-shirt when love was not practiced at it's best.

Being human is a tough gig... we get tired and short in our responses when we are stressed by aches and pains, expectations of us from commitments at work and home, or just the imbalances of the world around us that we fear are out of control. For all the excuses we want to give, how we treat others is the one standard we have total control over.

I read here often of couples who are struggling and remember my own struggles, looking to find a magic solution that would somehow save a relationship full of odds that did not seem in favor of success. When I began practicing "do no harm" I realized that it meant for me to practice on myself first as I really couldn't do well with it if I didn't understand it's application. I let myself down a lot of times when I started, but I got better and better as time went on and I found a new asset in that... patience.

In time I could practice a behavior of the heart with do no harm sharing such with others, and trust was a new lesson as at times I found people more wary of kindness than they are of poor behaviors. No effort is ever wasted as we unconditionally offer emotional trust without worrying about a quid-pro-quo in the process.

Trusting the process is like many leaps of faith... we often challenge ourselves with the anxiety of the future or the sadness of the past since they so easily overlap the mindfulness of the present, but the present is not healthy if too much from either side clouds our being. Cindy (@Affaircare) and I share the present every day as a sounding board of the effort we have promised to another, and I am grateful for each moment shared.

As I review the other areas I think I'll spend more time here.. this way of being is my sanctuary in a world of desires that cost far too much for far too many.
 

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Thich Nhat Hanh taught that a mantra is a stated idea that, when said aloud to ourselves (or others), can entirely change the way we look at things. It is powerful in its ability to be able to change us, and change others. These must be spoken in understanding, with body and mind congruent . How we live and be in such a place becomes a mantra.

Within this understanding, four mantras for moving from fear into love, “Mantra for Offering Your Presence” is shared.

He writes:
The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. So the first mantra is very simple: “Dear one, I am here for you.”

This is a simple beginning, a start that plants the seeds of presence, being there is so important for if we are not present, we cannot “begin” to begin a committed and quality love.

“Mantra for Recognizing Your Beloved”:
The second mantra is, “Darling, I know you are there, and I am so happy.”

If we do not recognize the presence of the other person's value and hold them close in recognition of their value and their love, for being loved starts in recognition of their presence, that they hold an important place in your life.

The third mantra, “Mantra for Relieving Suffering” goes:

“Dear one, I know you are suffering. That is why I am here for you.”

This is affirmation that we mean what we say... we are not just here but we are here for the hard times when they are hurting too, not the times when being there is easy. This is our true presence of love in action, matching our words.

The fourth and ending mantra, “Mantra for Reaching Out to Ask for Help”, is the hardest as it comes from an area of vulnerability ensuring we are seeing the truth and not promoting a lie as we evaluate our own suffering.

“Dear one, I am suffering; please help”.

We have to overcome pride and observe, and if our suffering is honestly brought by another where we suffer (much different than just "feeling", but to find clarity), is to ask the one closest to help by looking at the behaviors that suffering has risen to the surface. This can be quite an obstacle to any reconciliation since pride on both sides must be put aside to see the truth as lessons from the Buddha so often show there no place for pride in true love.

Peace be with you
 
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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
I've been thinking a bit about what @Emerging Buddhist wrote about the mantras above. He was talking about what Thich Nhat Hanh taught, and he is a guy who is one of the more recognized, wise buddhist teachers who just recently passed away. So he's like a contemporary of ours.

Since EB's worldview is buddhist and mine is christian, I like to listen to what he (EB) says and think if there's a way I can apply that to me, my life, or my way of thinking--like looking the gold nugget. I think of "mantras" as another way of training your mind, and we know that from a christian perspective you don't just say you're renewed...faith without works is dead! By the same token, works without faith is just legalism...so what makes the difference? It's a true change of heart brought about by training the mind. We're transformed by renewing our minds!

So what I've been doing is thinking more deeply about each of these "steps" of moving from fear to love (specifically in a marriage). The first one EB mentions is Mantra for Offering Your Presence: “Dear one, I am here for you.”

When I thought about this one, I note many things! First, you notice that when addressing a loved one, they aren't spoken to like "Hey You" or in a curt way, but rather addressed as "Dear one." It's small, I know, but that right there is a huge mind shift. Instead of thinking of someone in your head as "Hey jerkwad" address them as who they really are... a "dear one." I think very often we live with our spouses and family members and begin to view them as "That idiot who always leaves the refrig open" or "That ditz who can't remember to put her shoes by the door" (or whatever), and instead this part of the new way of thinking is to shift your mind to viewing them as who they truly are: valuable and cherished. If you begin to view your partner as someone who is worthy and precious, you begin to treat them that way and act that way...

Next I notice it says "I am here." WELL...that's bigger than you think! MUCH bigger than you think! In order to be there, you'd have to know yourself. Is it YOU that's there? How do you know? Are you being authentic? Are you present? Or are you stuck in some past resentment? Or are you thinking "I'll be nice once he gets a regular job but until then I'm allowed to be *****y!" Are you thinking of yourself and what you need or what you want to say next? Or are you HERE? Are you honestly being who you are? Or are you being who you think they want you to be? Are you accepting yourself and accepting them or are you judging yourself and/or them? Are you being vulnerable? Are you being open (even if it's scary)? See what I mean? Just saying "I am here" actually REALLY a big statement!! You have to know and value yourself and know and value them, and then be authentically present.

Finally, I notice that it concludes with "...here for you." Again, that takes such a change of heart and mind! So often, people get married thinking "Whew! I finally have someone who will love me forever!" and it doesn't dawn on them that in reality what they promised was "I promise to spend the rest of my life learning how to love YOU well"! Are you actively listening? Are you relating to how they feel? Can you empathize or sympathize? Are you thinking about what they are saying and doing, or are you so focused on what you want to say or do that you're not even really hearing them? Are you focusing on yourself? Are you here "for you" or are you here for them? Or are you authentically in the presence of your dear one, for their benefit?

"Dear one, I am here for you" speaks volumes in one short, simple statement, and so much of this short, simple statement is about changing your mind. Think of them as a person of value. Know yourself and be your authentic self in their presence. Be present in the here and now. And do these things out of loving kindness FOR THEM because you promised you'd do it.
 
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