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At nine months past d-day the pain is excruciating. For some unknown reason the affair details have flooded my mind and I can't shake the thoughts. I have resided in rage for almost a month now and no signs of that stopping either. WW has been trying so hard to help me improve and she is feeling the pain also as she sees me in pain. I can only say that at this moment I don't feel I will ever shed the pain of her betrayal. I had hopes that it would at least full but my pain is as sharp as it was on d-day.
I hate the fact all is changing around me and it is not what I preferred. I prefer that WW never have cheated. Now all dynamics to my marriage, future, and WW have all changed. I have to change, which hurts also. I have to fight to become what I was because this has destroyed me. I was happy, made people laugh, always tried to make people smile. Now I don't care if anyone smiles or laughs, I prefer being alone or just me and my two boys. I don't even want happiness, just peace with myself. R hasn't gone well the last week or so and I'm fighting to make it through the days, hope this passes soon.
Posted via Mobile Device
I hate the fact all is changing around me and it is not what I preferred. I prefer that WW never have cheated. Now all dynamics to my marriage, future, and WW have all changed. I have to change, which hurts also. I have to fight to become what I was because this has destroyed me. I was happy, made people laugh, always tried to make people smile. Now I don't care if anyone smiles or laughs, I prefer being alone or just me and my two boys. I don't even want happiness, just peace with myself. R hasn't gone well the last week or so and I'm fighting to make it through the days, hope this passes soon.
Posted via Mobile Device
