A sexless marriage is NOT a happy marriage

I would like to add that, unless for medical reasons or mutually agreed upon, a sexless marriage isn't a marriage at all.

Adex said:

I've seen it often on this forum, particularly from women, that say their marriage is great and they have a happy marriage. The only issue is, they don't have sex.

A sexless marriage is not a happy marriage.

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This is so very true. If sex is a big part of one's enjoyment (i.e. me), then it is impossible to be truly happy. I know that when I get it on a regular basis, I am truly a better, happier person in all other areas. It drives me to take better care of things in other areas. Lack of sex just makes me withdraw from those other activities, or from doing them with the same vigor behind it. This is why I will likely be ending my marriage once and for all. You can refer to my post from yesterday to see why I feel the way I do. I hope to find a woman like the many on these boards here, who have been deprived from their husbands (what is wrong with these guys??!!) for years. I believe the sex that would take place between me and a woman like that would absolutely be on fire, and we would truly appreciate one another's sexual appetite.

I'd leave a sexless marriage ....I'd be too grouchy to put up with.... the love would dry up as the resentment climbed to the heavens...my husband knows when I start getting bi*chy...basically >>
I need laid ... it is kinda a running joke between us.

Cosmos said:

I would like to add that, unless for medical reasons or mutually agreed upon, a sexless marriage isn't a marriage at all.

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Didn't think about the medical reasons part. Using your mouth or hands to pleasure your spouse is basically sex as well. So even with medical reasons, it's not an excuse.

Adex said:

Didn't think about the medical reasons part. Using your mouth or hands to pleasure your spouse is basically sex as well. So even with medical reasons, it's not an excuse.

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:iagree:

SimplyAmorous said:

I'd leave a sexless marriage ....I'd be too grouchy to put up with.... the love would dry up as the resentment climbed to the heavens...my husband knows when I start getting bi*chy...basically >>
I need laid ... it is kinda a running joke between us.

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Not just grouchy, SA, it can affect a person's physical and mental health. When I was in a sexless marriage, way back in my 20s/early 30s, I developed a host of weird and 'wonderful' issues. The minute I left the marriage, they miraculously disappeared!

SimplyAmorous said:

I'd leave a sexless marriage ....I'd be too grouchy to put up with.... the love would dry up as the resentment climbed to the heavens...my husband knows when I start getting bi*chy...basically >>
I need laid ... it is kinda a running joke between us.

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It truly does lead to resentment. This is where I am at, and she knows what a big deal getting laid is, to me. She also knows that if she doesn't feel in the mood to get naked and have intercourse, that she gives one hell of a BJ, and she still whiffs out there. Its tiring, and I am at my breaking point!

Once the intimacy leaves the marriage, the love is not far behind it.

And it will be replaced by resentment.

Juicer said:

Once the intimacy leaves the marriage, the love is not far behind it.

And it will be replaced by resentment.

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Truth...this is how my wife and I got so close again after our separation, now she tells me I don't talk to her anymore, etc. I have told her when I lack the sexual intimacy we had been back to having when we were great again, this is how things go...she hasn't done anything to change it, so downhill we go.

kev23 said:

Truth...this is how my wife and I got so close again after our separation, now she tells me I don't talk to her anymore, etc. I have told her when I lack the sexual intimacy we had been back to having when we were great again, this is how things go...she hasn't done anything to change it, so downhill we go.

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So are you going to stand up on your wall, and her on her wall, and stare at each other?

Or are you going to be the bigger man, and take the first steps to fixing it by giving her the emotiona intimacy she wants, and watch as her needs are gradually met, yours start to be met?

Adex said:

Didn't think about the medical reasons part. Using your mouth or hands to pleasure your spouse is basically sex as well. So even with medical reasons, it's not an excuse.

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There is no excuse unless one is a paraplegic or in a coma - Sex therapists have written books for situations like this >>

Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse: Marty Klein

Cosmos said: It truly does lead to resentment. This is where I am at, and she knows what a big deal getting laid is, to me. She also knows that if she doesn't feel in the mood to get naked and have intercourse, that she gives one hell of a BJ, and she still whiffs out there. Its tiring, and I am at my breaking point!

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Although I have personally never been in this situation, not even a taste of it really.. when I questioned my husbands desire when he couldn't keep up.... I found myself really emotional about this ~ took me by surprise......tormenting to think what it would feel like to walk in such shoes... to feel your sexual want is a BURDEN to the one you love.... It would destroy me... I am too sensitive for something like that.

I don't know how any of you can manage it day after day. My hats are off to you I know Kids throw a monkey wrench into the deal, but if someone ain't got them... get out - enjoy thy life & vibrant prime years ~ find another compatible who enjoys the throes of passion & intimacy !

kev23 said:

Truth...this is how my wife and I got so close again after our separation, now she tells me I don't talk to her anymore, etc. I have told her when I lack the sexual intimacy we had been back to having when we were great again, this is how things go...she hasn't done anything to change it, so downhill we go.

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I'm not minimizing your problem, because I know what it's like to feel rejected like that, but listen to what she's telling you there... If her love language is communication and she feels that you're not communicating with her, she won't feel like having sex with you. I know this becomes a vicious circle, but it somehow has to be broken by one of you.

Cosmos said:

I'm not minimizing your problem, because I know what it's like to feel rejected like that, but listen to what she's telling you there... If her love language is communication and she feels that you're not communicating with her, she won't feel like having sex with you. I know this becomes a vicious circle, but it somehow has to be broken by one of you.

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I had continued doing so until the last week or so. We haven't had sex in a month. I have tried time and time again. I do a lot for her.

kev23 said:

I had continued doing so until the last week or so. We haven't had sex in a month. I have tried time and time again. I do a lot for her.

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Any chance of you going for MC?

Cosmos said:

Any chance of you going for MC?

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We have done so, and it did not help, then it did the last time around, but it never was taken to much of a sexual aspect.

My sexless marriage is a marriage.
Most of the time it is happy.

Sexless is temporary I plan to be banging my wife for many years to come for life...then it'll be happier.

Don't give up on your spouse.
Sexless is temporary and a barometer of a stage of your marriage.

We are getting better.

Adex said:

I've seen it often on this forum, particularly from women, that say their marriage is great and they have a happy marriage. The only issue is, they don't have sex.

A sexless marriage is not a happy marriage.

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Adex,

You have an interesting opinion on the matter,
but do you have a question? Are you currently in a sexless marriage and are asking for suggestions? Or is this just a round-about way of polling members? I'm not at all sure, perhaps you could clarify?

Proof positive that this rings true in my case: my wife's libido has risen again after approx 10 long and difficult years and we're like two teenagers again. Can't do enough for the other.

During our low points, we bickered and argued over the stupidest things. Her LD was causing me to act lie a jerk a lot and I knew all along that sex would go a long way in changing that. It did.

This arrangement (marriage) is merely a contractual obligation. It's a job, essentially. And the wife is merely one of a few ungrateful insane bosses I have.