Part 2 - Roomates?
So, in the 4 years of me observing my wife's behavior, checking phone records, hacking into her email accounts (she has 3), accessing her cellphone voicemail, logging frequency of outgoing and incoming calls, I have determined a lot about her and now I feel stupid, naive, and offended.
The wife and her boss, trade glances, touch each other on the sly at functions, wink alot, and her body language moves closer to him. She says it is a brother / sister relationship and she has known and worked for him for over 15 years. He and his wife never sit together or show any type of affection. I caught the wife winking, smiling and rubbing his leg under the table at a function last night and a mutual female friend saw this and questioned my wife openly about how close is everyone at the office saying that is odd behavior. I told the wife on the way home I did not approve of this behavior as I have noticed it for a long time but since someone else noticed it, my concerns were valid. Of course the wife denied anything and said I was crazy and said, "I would never do anything to hurt you" I have learned when they say that line, they have. Maybe not in the future, but they have. So, I asked her, "Did you?". She looked for words and stumbled, so I say, "Just give me a yes or no" She finally said, "No." She is a liar.
Her close circle of friends consists of two guys, one woman and her husband. I've noticed the same gaze, wink, touching with one of the men, never the other guy. Definitely never the woman's husband. In phone records, the one guy would text with my wife many times a day. Never thought anything of it. But when going back over phone records I noticed when I was away on a business trip for a few weeks, they communicated constantly, but when I returned, no communication. They do not communicate at all anymore. So I ask the wife, "Have you heard from the guy?" She says no. "Why not?" I ask. "I don't know." she says.
The wife always takes her cellphone everywhere she goes in the house. Bathroom, by her side in bed, etc. I asked about it and she says, "Well, I have always done that and because I am heavy and it hard to walk, it is easier to keep it with me instead of having to walk to another room. Red flag.
So one day I looked at her contact list. The aforementioned piano player's phone number was there. I deleted it. So, I ask her, "Have you spoken to ....?" "No, I have not. I told you I deleted his number and have no desire to speak with him" So, I tell her that his number was in her phone. She apologized for lying. She said she saw him at a concert and they exchanged phone numbers and she does not know why she did.
So why do I stay and deal with this? Because her parents feel guilt and they pay for everything I need. They have money. I save mine. I know they want me to stay with their daughter. As they say, I am a good man and she will change. I don't think so at 55 years old.
However, I do feel apart from the marriage as the wife tries to show affection and love, but as I told her, "You may love me, but you are not in love with me." Our life is a facade, fake, to friends it is a hallmark marriage. I am living a lie. I'm apart from the real me dealing with this.
Thank you for reading. I feel better typing this.