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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I want to start fresh for the new year. My other half got fed up with my progressively worst drinking behavior and we are now in a a fast track to divorce. I grew up drinking. Its what people in my little island(now USD citizen) do to we drink and play music at any chance. I over did it in the worst way. She was adopted and like the fact that I was not from the us at the time. 15 years and 7 years of marriage I get to hear what my drinking did during counseling. Counseling was for my drinking at this time. I wanted to face the challenge head on and with charts, drinks counts anything to keep me sober and my kids happy (4,2,8 months).
Then My world ends and misery begging.
She tells me a lie after lie about affair she had with my drinking buddy and neighbor.
she lies about what she did and does it with convincing quality each time.
she kiss somebody,
then its just 3 kisses ,
then is a [email protected] job ,
Then its sex. I come to terms with betray and all that comes with it. Knowing I betrayed her love with my drinks.

Anyway I realize that 7 years of living with an alcoholic has a toll on a person. I realize I view our relationship threw different eyes. I was the person who drank she had the kids.

I want more than anything to make my life be what it was minus the drinking. I realize that I was not good for the family but nether is cheating. I just don't know what to think or what to do. I just know i need to be sober and strong if I will ever have my family back. thanks for your time . and happy new year .. I want a sober year. first sober new years ..

ps. my spelling is horrible because I was born a with a Spanish brain.
 

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I hope that 2013 is the first of many sober years for you.
 

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Congratulations on your first sober New Year's Eve -- Happy New Year and best of luck in your continued sobriety. You seem to really want to stay sober, and with some work, you will.

Trust me, I know how difficult it is. But it's doable. Are you going to attend any meetings or are you going to do this on your own?

Don't apologize for your spelling. You write very well; indeed, your writing is better than that of many Canadian English people I know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I am going to meetings. I tried doing it on my own but failed miserably. Today was the hardest day since. I come from a family of people that drink too much. So this morning the triggers to drink where everywhere. Thanks for the kind words.
 

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Just a quick note to show support to you, CW. Perhaps when times are tough, you could bolster your confidence by realizing that doing something worthwhile does not come easy. Then just take it one minute, one hour, and one day at a time.
 

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I offer my support and encouragement, too. And spelling and such? I am always amazed that so many people who come to the US with a different language can communicate so well in English. Most of us don't do well with the English, let alone a foreign language!

I think you are on the right track and in some ways, way ahead of many, who would be still in denial to their own responsibility in getting where things are. I just mean a lot of people would be blaming her and not seeing that the drinking contributed to "what is".

It is often a lot easier to make progress in recovery when you have a therapist or support of people who know what the problem/addiction is like, things that can help or hurt you as you go forward in recovery, and ESPECIALLY, people who've pretty much "come out the other side". Knowing that success is possible helps a lot, seeing it in real life can really be an anchor at times.

'Cause there are rough periods and times you want to just forget about getting better. But that passes and often, it is the people who've been there and can offer a word of support and encouragement. And they do, and in my experience, that is often enough to keep me on track and pull me out of whatever hole of despair I fell into.

Oh, sometimes things seem to get worse for a while at least when you are going into recovery. Don't let that fool you; it's only temporary.
 
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