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30 Posts
Haven't posted here in quite awhile but I think I need to start again.
A little bit of history. I will try to make it as concise as possible. Married four years, together for eight, one son, almost two.
In May I noticed my H pulling away. He does this from time to time and I generally don't think much of it except this time he never really came back around. In July he told me that he wanted to do everything possible to work on the marriage, didn't want a divorce, loved me, etc but needed some space. Two weeks later I find out he is having an affair. During this time, my adoptive father passed away suddenly and my mother was diagnosed with a very progressive cancer and given two months at most to live (she is still kicking
) I had to keep traveling back to my hometown to deal with everything else that was going on with my family. He had made it clear though that he wanted me to leave and find a new apt (during our first discussion)....that was how he needed space. At this point I had the ability to move into my new place and life was hell with him. The tension was so thick it felt as if it hung in the air like heat in an attic.
While I was in my hometown he called to talk about me finding out about his affair. He told me that he just didn't love me and that it was the hardest decision of his life.
After I moved out, we settled on a schedule for trading off our son. I have noticed that he stays longer every time. We have being doing things as a family at least once a week. We haven't sat down and talked about everything though. A part of me is really scared. I am scared I lost my H and my family. With him being so nice lately, I haven't wanted to rock the boat.
I guess my question is this: is there a wrong time to ask about what is going on?
I have been bouncing back and forth mentally of doing a 180 as much as possible with a child or being loving and compassionate. I try to display the loving side of myself for the sake of my son. He absolutely loves it when we are both in the same room.
I just don't know what I am supposed to be doing. Nothing makes sense and I just don't want to mess this up.
Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
A little bit of history. I will try to make it as concise as possible. Married four years, together for eight, one son, almost two.
In May I noticed my H pulling away. He does this from time to time and I generally don't think much of it except this time he never really came back around. In July he told me that he wanted to do everything possible to work on the marriage, didn't want a divorce, loved me, etc but needed some space. Two weeks later I find out he is having an affair. During this time, my adoptive father passed away suddenly and my mother was diagnosed with a very progressive cancer and given two months at most to live (she is still kicking
While I was in my hometown he called to talk about me finding out about his affair. He told me that he just didn't love me and that it was the hardest decision of his life.
After I moved out, we settled on a schedule for trading off our son. I have noticed that he stays longer every time. We have being doing things as a family at least once a week. We haven't sat down and talked about everything though. A part of me is really scared. I am scared I lost my H and my family. With him being so nice lately, I haven't wanted to rock the boat.
I guess my question is this: is there a wrong time to ask about what is going on?
I have been bouncing back and forth mentally of doing a 180 as much as possible with a child or being loving and compassionate. I try to display the loving side of myself for the sake of my son. He absolutely loves it when we are both in the same room.
I just don't know what I am supposed to be doing. Nothing makes sense and I just don't want to mess this up.
Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.