This post would probably be more appropriate for a psychology or other mental health forum, but I'm sure it's something a lot of married people have dealt with, so hopefully the idea will at least stimulate entertaining conversation.
I, for a long time, struggled with intense sexual attraction to a woman who was not my wife. Unfortunately, it was someone who I had to see a LOT, and I got really, really tired of the desires popping up and distracting me from the more important things in my life. I was bascially begging my therapist, my psychologist, doctors and anyone who would listen "teach me how to TURN THESE DESIRES OFF!!!!!! They're ruining my life!" and the only answer I ever got was, "Medical castration, which will greatly reduce your sexual desire ENTIRELY. Only way that's ever going to happen." It was pretty devastating to have to accept that I was just going to have to deal with this.
So fast forward to today - here's something I've been thinking about: I've been dieting and exercising for the past 2+ years. I've dropped about 65 pounds so far and want to drop 10 or 15 more. I had to completely eliminate a lot of foods from my diet. There were some foods that were just torture to cut out in the beginning - perhaps this will make you laugh, but I used to eat entire bags of Cheetos and entire packages of double-stuffed Oreo cookies. Pizza and Ice Cream were pretty tough to give up too - I'd walk by a restaurant and smell fresh pizza and almost drool (of course, there are pizzas like Quest that I can eat that allow me to quell that desire somewhat, but let's be honest, it's not the same as going to a Pizza Hut buffet!)
Anyway, today, I'm nowhere near as strongly "affected" by those types of foods. I'm so happy in my new body that going back to my old body is not even an option. In my new lifestyle, there are plenty of delicious foods I can eat that contribute meaningfully to my health goals. Now I walk by an Italian restaurant and think, "You know what? That does smell good, but I don't need it."
The point I'm about to make is probably pretty obvious, but I'm wondering if there's a connection between how happy one is in one's own relationship (marriage or otherwise) - indeed, in their entire LIFE for that matter - and how painful and intrusive outside temptations can be.
I'm not slam-dunk sure. I know plenty of people who are simply never happy with what they have. It's kind of sad. NOBODY'S life is perfect, I don't care who you are - EVERYBODY needs to learn to focus on the positive things in their lives and try not to obsess over the things they wish were different.
On the other hand, though, if there WEREN'T a wide array of delicious foods I can eat that contribute to my health goals (i.e. if I absolutely HATED eating fruits, veggies, salads, lean meats etc.), I'm not sure I'd be so immune to the temptations of pizza and ice cream for example.
Hope this elicits fun conversation.
