a sick oneShe's pretty ballsy, eh? I dream of the day posOW contacts me. I hope to God she's smarter than that.
Your H must be a real dumbass to condone her reaching out to you. What betrayed spouse would welcome said contact?
They're both stupid.
How are you doing? How's your *********? Cheating on ow yet? Still trying to string you along?In your divorce paperwork, it is standard to have a clause of no member of the opposite sex spending the night with the children present unless they are married. It should be in a separation agreement if u guys have a period of waiting until divorce is final. You have legal rights.bayoubengalgal, that's a good idea except that I am Catholic but my kids are baptized Anglican, and even though she just happens to be Anglican too (stxh is Uniting Church), I'm not sure if I have a leg to stand on. I don't think that I have in me to fight that one either. I just want to buy out the house and he could ruin that for me, so I'm playing nice. I want my kids to have a safe place of their own. She most likely kisses their little tooshies in order to get some love from my h. I just hope that THIS isn't forever. I don't think I could cope.
I told my stbxh today to cut the crap out. She hasn't called. It's 8pm now, so I guess she got the message. Stbxh dropped off the kids off and was pleasant as can be. Games, games, games. I just with I knew what the hell is going through his head... seems like everybody else does but me. He never talks about anything but the kids. If I ever mention anything to do with us, he just shuts down. Honestly, power OFF. Mental.
NO. It is standard in a divorce. It is not healthy for the children, and that is all the court is concerned with.might look into that bayoubengagal. thanks for that. I have never heard of it before, it's a low blow, but it's brilliant at the same time. You don't mess with religion.
Hmmm, will it make a difference that we cohabited for 5 years before marriage? We didn't have kids then
My kids don't need a stepdad, I don't need stepkids. I don't have time or effort to invest into somebody else besides my children and me.
bayoubengalgal, I posted this in the infidelity section, but I don't really plan on dating as such. I like being by myself, never had a problem. I am a fiercely independent person. I was joking over there, that I will only date in like maybe 5 years like a senior citizen. I'll have a 'friend' that I see every other weekend when I don't have the kids for a dinner and a... hmm... relation... My kids don't need a stepdad, I don't need stepkids. I don't have time or effort to invest into somebody else besides my children and me.
So I agree with you on that. People tell me I'm a bit extreme and that I need to model healthy love relationships to my kids, but I'm not convinced. 1) Because so far I'll have a divorce behind my belt proving that I'm not exactly a role model 2) I'm worried about pedophiles, etc. 3) My kids already share one parent most of the time (me) between each other-they don't need to share me with anyone else.
When I had my kids I meant it. I want to love them and give them my all while they're growing up... I will have to do something with every other weekend though
50 years ago people were a lot less educated as well. While things may gotten worse in some regards the "lack of morals" is something that should change eventually. If one is religious than i can expect them wishing to go back in time, after all as humans advance even more eventually religion will die out (imo) it is already in a majority of industrialized countries.No, it will not matter because you did not have kids then. You can say that you got religious after marriage and that you want your children to brought up with spiritual and religious morals. The kids seeing him living with a younger woman, "shaking up" as Dr. Laura puts it, unmarried, is against the principles that you are trying to teach your children. When you investigate with an attorney, as him if you have a legal leg to stand on or if this case may make a precedent.
It might be a little preachy of me (and I am not a religious person), but the reason I am saying this is because personally, I feel that the fabric of our society is being destroyed by the lack of family values we have. 50 years ago, your ex and his new honey would have been ostracized for this behavior. Today, we accept this as normal. Do not accept it. I wouldn't. If my husband did that crap, he would never see our son again. Period. It may sound harsh but I do not want my son to treat his wife and children that way and seeing is learning. It is so disrespectful of the institution of marriage. Your ex made a vow and completely broke that morally, spiritually, etc. Be the better person. Some people do not like Dr. Laura, but I really think she has some good points about divorce. She says that if you get a divorce, do not remarry or date until your kids are 18. That way your kids are not competing with the new love interest or new siblings. Often, the original children are brushed aside to make way for the new family and it is unfair to them.
My mother divorced my father when I was 4. I had an older sister that was 6. My mom married a new man and they had two more kids. My sister and I were definitely affected by it. My two younger siblings got more attention, affection, etc. Plus, I had a whole new extended family that treated us poorly. I would never do that to my kids but like I said, it is now considered normal. Do I blame my mom, no. I know it is hard being a single parent but if my mom could feel what we felt, I think she would have done it differently.
