My friend, I would never forgive my spouse if they committed adultery or cheated on me.
There is no 2nd chances in my book, but that is me and everyone is different. I can't live with the fact that my wife abandoned me to be with another man, if she can do that then she can do it again behind my back and figure out a way to be secretive again.
If a spouse cheats on there loved one, then they have no respect and I don't care how human you are, I have the right to not continue our marriage. People say there human, mistakes happen and see if you can continue or reconcile, I don't believe in reconciliation, but some people are built differently.
By leaving the cheater your giving them the hard meaning of what the consequences are for cheating. Reconciling with a cheater just empowers other cheaters to continue to do it because they know the possibility of reconciliation is there. I am not knocking on anyone that reconciled and was successful although I think it is weak on the BS part, but to each there own. I might get flamed for saying that, but its the truth, cheating is 100% no chances divorce. Some may say its the harder path to reconcile and the easy path to just leave. Yes it is harder to reconcile and perhaps the resentment will be strong for a while, but the bottomline, self respect of oneself is more important then reconciliation and having self respect in its own is a harder path. Look at it whichever way you think, but a cheating spouse doesn't deserve anything but hate, disgust and shame from the BS. Don't be a weak, doormat person, be strong, charismatic and powerful to control your own self worth and respect.
Perhaps in there next relationship Wayward spouses will know better.
I agree with all you said.
A majority a religions consider a marriage nulled after cheating, and the hurt spouse is no longer obligated, nor advised, to honor any marriage vows, once a cheater has already broken those vows.
I also agree that people who reconcile are contributing to the rise in cheating.
My STBEH actually said to me that other wives forgive their husbands, I thought you would, too.
Well I did forgive him, but I no longer trust him and their is no real comfort in a marriage without trust, so why stay married.
There are too many phony self-proclaimed gurus on the internet too, who claim a marriage can be better after cheating.
That statement is ludicrous.
A marriage may survive a betrayal such as cheating, but it will NEVER improve the marriage, particularly not for the hurt spouse.
It's like the humpty dumpty song says.
Humpty dumpty fell off the wall
Humpty dumpty took a great fall,
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Could never put humpty back together again.