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I love this forum there is so much that we can learn from one another. I have been married for eight years and I feel our marriage is as hot today as it was when we dated. However I don't want to fool you we have had our challenges some big ones along the way but what helped us each time is when we used the following 5 keys to turn on the hotness in our marriage.

1. We compete to make each other happy. This means we do everything we can to fulfill the other person's needs even if it means scarificing our own. I find when we ignore the wants and needs of each other is when we get into fights.

2. Verbally and physically be affectionate with each other. Everyday we say or do something that shows the other person how much we love them. This helps keep happy spirits in our home and marriage.

3. We read books and attend workshops were we learn new ways to keep that hotness going. We learned incorporating new ideas keeps the marriage alive and happy.

4. Taking a break from one another when we are not happy with what the other person has done or said. We learned from trial and error that talking to each other while angry feelings are rising is not the best time to talk.

5. Doing something fun with each other. There was a time we found ourselves drifting apart. We put other things first. We noticed by putting other things first we were taking each other for granted. Now we spend once a week doing something fun.

I would love to hear how everyone else keeps the hotness in their marriage.

Robin

 

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with my hubby and i , dont know what is is, cant live with or without eachother. but the hotness has improved and improved thoroughout our marriage. within most areas.
this came with the help of talking to others , listening to them and their ideas. this helped in all areas of our marriage.
 

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Two things helped us.

1) A guy on another forum showed me how to be more flirty and playful

2)I started practising semen retention, and that turbo boosted our sex life, in both quality and quantity.
 

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Justean that is great! Sounds like you two both work on your relationship. It really does take effort from both people. If just one person does the work and the other is lazy or doesn't want the hotness will not exist.

Mark I love your honesty. Too funny. LOL! It does take a woman alot longer to get through the sexual arousal stage than men. Your honey must be a happy camper.

Robin

 

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Mark I love your honesty. Too funny. LOL! It does take a woman alot longer to get through the sexual arousal stage than men. Your honey must be a happy camper.
I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.
 

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Great points!
 

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I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.
omg. sex MOST DAYS?? that lucky girl :D
 

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omg. sex MOST DAYS?? that lucky girl :D
Actually, it's gotten out of hand now. I put her in charge of how often I cum, and she decided once a month was too much, so I went for 6 weeks before I finally blew yesterday! Phew. I am not recommending this, but I was getting so horny it was crazy. I must say I really enjoy it. Because of the build up of "steam" the whole of sex is nearly as good as an orgasm, so I don't miss ejaculation.
 

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Well, not exactly off topic, but maybe a little aside.

I don't practice semen retention (I never heard of that before this thread), but I do take a while to ejaculate.

Remember, too, that ejaculation is also good for the prostate. Holding back seems (to me) to serve little purpose. The genetic drive is to ejaculate as often as possible. :)

Sometimes we do a prostate massage. That's a wonderful feeling, too. Kind of like a slow orgasm.

It took my GF a while to get over this - she felt that she wasn't satisfying me! I certainly made sure she orgasmed (several multiples every time).

But when I did ejaculate, she was extremely satisfied (that she made me). It is not a matter of control, just that I now take longer than I did when younger. :)

It's NOT a "problem" (for her!! :) ). She's used to orgasming many times now. Sometimes describing it as a continuous wave of orgasms. She's had as many as 4 or 5 multiples at one time, although it's more often 2-3 at a time. But when they come (pun intended) one after another, it's definately fun! :)

I do find that sometimes a tighter vaginal canal more often gets me off. A couple of positions that do that are: 1) missionary, then bring her legs together between mine 2) doggy, then lay her down on her stomach with her legs inside of mine (great G spot action!).

But, then again,this past sunday, she came over to pick me up to go to the store and, after her working all week and "not getting any" we had a quickie and I orgasmed after only a few minutes (and she orgasmed 3 times). She said that was just what she needed! Me, too! :)
 

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Life's Little How To Book, which is my favorite read right now has a chapter on a married couple's path to sexual intimacy and I think Mark's tip should be included in the long list of tips. :smthumbup:
Oh? Have you been experimenting? :D
 
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