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Discussion Starter · #121 ·
Maybe he wants them out of the house when he drops the bomb...
They were in the house the other night when she lost her **** over a pot left on the stove and screamed she was getting her own apartment because she was so done. That' won't happen, she'll never leave..reputation to uphold!
She's never really held back in front of her kids - neither has he.
 

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Discussion Starter · #122 ·
Leave his pension alone? 😂
Half that pension is hers. Half of everything is hers. Wait till she finds out he is having an affair. 😂
You have no clue how asinine you sound. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Yup, everything is half hers. If he's willing to give up 85% of the house value instead of 50% and willing to take on their debt in exchange...yes, its possible - a divorce is a business deal. Although everything is 50/50, that's what negotiations are.
I'm going through it now.. i knwo Exactly how it works.
 

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I've asked him that many times - and it's something he's said for the past 6 years "Once he is graduated and gone, i'm out of there. i'm divorcing her when he's graduated" so...that's not just a line he's feeding me, as i've been told he is doing from replies here. I've been hearing about this for Years.
When i've asked why - his answer has remained the same "i just want my son(s) to be completely raised in the house they grew up in..i want them secure and be raised in only 1 home."
They have a beautiful home, right on the water, lots of toys, etc. It's impressive and some people need that show offy stuff when they aren't happy with themselves...
He grew up poor, very poor and didn't have what he has been able to give his sons. He wants them to have that all until they move on to the next chapter of their lives.
I get that.
He has gone over with his best guy friend -just 3 weeks ago (and for the past 8 months or so) - his plan with what he wants to keep, what to give her, he wants to give her x additional amount if she would agree to leave his pension alone, give her more than half of the house, etc. He's got the money situation all sorted out in his head.. i mean, there's been so much thought put into his departure, it's crazy. And it's not just what he's telling me...
I was going to do the same. Wait until the youngest went to uni. I guess it feels like you've finished your "job", as a father. That didn't happen, because I'm a coward (well, it's a long story...) :) Anyway, I do understand that, but an affair? I couldn't do it, even if very unhappy in my marriage. I'm less incline to bash you, because I know how soul destroying is to be unhappy.
 

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Why don't you both do the honest thing and tell his wife what's going on? In fact if you believe the stories he's feeding you, it may just well be met with welcome relief from him and the kids. Then you two can tell her she can keep 85% of the house, among other agreements.
 

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OP, it seems like you’ve made up your mind about this whole situation. You’ve convinced yourself that the two of you are right and it’s his wife who is the problem. The question now is: what are you the two of you willing to do about it going further? What sort of answers or validation are you looking for from us? Are you willing to wait and continue as the OW or are you going to give him an ultimatum to end his marriage?
 

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I think those who read about “game” take the theories way to far. While there no doubt that the OP’s boyfriend will most likely land a slightly younger, more attractive woman than his wife or OP, he’s not going to be bedding women in their 20s.

Youth is not the only thing that makes a woman attractive to a man in his 50s. I’m 56 and see some women who are my age and even slightly older who look very attractive.

I do notice that most of the guys that I know in real life who ended up divorced from wives that were all about 2 to 3 younger than them, ended up remarrying women that are about 7 to 10 years younger than their ex. Not exactly a 20 something but what man in his mid 40s to mid 50s wants to be with someone that young? I know I wouldn’t.
I'm sure there's a difference between a guy who has spent most of his adult life married and a guy who didn't marry until his late 30s or early 40s. I think the first group, both men and women have a lot of unrealistic expectations and fantasies. However in their defense, that's all they can have since they don't have much experience. The other group has just that, experience.

Also "rich" is relative. $100k in NYC won't get you very far but the guy in Mobile, AL with a $100k a year will be living like a king.
 

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I always think it's amusing that some men seem to think that if they become divorced in their 40's or 50's they will have a queue of 20 something year old women wanting them. Unless you are mega rich and are happy to date women who just want to spend your money it just simply isn't true.
Women do the same thing it's just dressed up in a prettier package (Live, Laugh, Love). She deems the guy she got with in her youth is now a loser, which he may be, and now she decides she can "do better".
 

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Here's something i find interesting - and common. Most men that i know who divorce in the second half of their lives end up with women who are less attractive than their former wives but kinder. And i see that so many times.
Hi wife is attractive, theres no denying that. with that said,she has physically changed a lot since body building competing and for the past number of years he's gone on how much it bothers him the way she looks..but knows its what she loves to do. The problem here is- you can be the most gorgeous woman in the world with a bad attitude and not kind and that makes one not attractive.
Before you say it, i will... yes, and a woman who tries to steal another womans husband is ugly too. Yes yes i know.
My point is.. being pretty is one thing but when the pretty goes away, hows your heart? are you kind? beautiful inside? I have been told many times how attractive i am.. I think i'm not ugly but i dont look at me and say 'oh girl you are hot!' I'm humble but i know who i am as a person and i know that's beautiful (let's put this one flaw away for a millisecond). Men are attracted to pretty, yes... but when you learn pretty isn't beautiful or going to make you happy and you learn what beautiful is..that's a different story.

Seriously, girl, you need some serious help. Please go and get therapy. You can dress up your actions anyway you look, look at the wife and blame her for this and that (which is none of your business). When are you going to look at your own actions? When are you going to teach your own girls that it is wrong to cast disparity on someone else's marriage and try to muscle in when you are breaking up a family. I really hope that none of your daughters ever face a woman (so called friend) like you when they are married. Believe you mean though, what goes around always comes around, that is the way of the world. You are seriously broken. AND beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. If you were as wonderful as you say you are why is the OM still with his wife? Anyway, you can dress it up anyway you want, justify to yourself anyway you want, but inside you are ugly as sin. Get over yourself and go get some therapy, you really need it.
 

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How can i say this without being persecuted for bringing her up. She has a ****load of friends who she puts on a good show for - she portrays herself one way as a fitness coach and everyone LOVES her - behind closed doors is different, right? She has a reputation to uphold for her business and (she had said to me Years ago..) I'd rather stay where i am and be miserable. I love my house, i'm never leaving it no matter what. People love coming over, i love showing it off and it feels good that people admire me".
Yup, good reason to stay.
And you are there behind closed doors with them? Anything you know is based on what a liar is telling you! Can't you see that? You sound like a stalker, to be honest you need to get professional help, your interest in their marriage is really creepy and bordering on the obsessive. Perhaps if your spent more time on your own family and your own personal development and becoming a better person than you round on this forum, you would have less time to obsess over this horrid man and his marriage
 

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So being with your husband was a mistake all along huh? Are his kids a mistake too?

What caused your AP’s wife to become such an awful person? Her wonderful husband didn’t play a part in the marriage going south? Just like your marriage, It’s all the other person’s fault too?

It’s amazing the justification that waywards make to not be the bad guy in the marriage. No it’s not the person committing adultery fault. It is the betrayed spouse’s fault.


To think you were once this woman’s friend and now here you are plotting to steal her husband.
Is it a coincident that the OP's STBX and the neighbor AP's BW were both terrible spouses? Maybe the OP's husband the AP's wife both picked up on the EA between their spouses. It is always amazing that the betrayed are always horrible spouses.
 

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@onmyownwith3girls

I understand what it is like being in a dead or zombie relationship and I’m not going to bash you over the head or give you an electronic lynching for being human.

However you are waisting your keystrokes and bandwidth trying to demonize the wife here and it’s pointless for you to try to point out how bad she is. It just doesn’t matter. Either he will leave her or he won’t. Not your call either way.

You’re not going to get support and blessing on this site because most of the people here have been cheated on and are ready to take up pitchforks and pick axes and torches and storm the castle if they think a spouse is looking at someone sideways.

My advice is don’t go from the frying pan into the fire. You’ve been married in a low-level, lackluster marriage for a long time, the pizza guy is probably looking good to you.

But don’t try to replace a full service relationship in a day. Get out and live life. Enjoy your freedom and flexibility. Lay on the couch and eat ice cream in your PJs. Throw a cooler and few clothes in the car and travel across the country to look up old friends you’ve lost touch with. Watch Brazilian orgy porn. Walk barefoot in the grass. Date some guys so young it embarrasses your daughters. Live life.

It’s human nature to try to get right back into a relationship ASAP for fear of dying alone being eaten by your cats. Resist that. Dont focus your life and energies on this guy.

Bang him rotten if you must to feel alive again, I get it and don’t care. But don’t let him become your life. Live for you. Begin again.
 

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Who changed the title of the thread?
 
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