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Neither of you appear to be marriage material. Perhaps you should realize this, get divorced and just co-parent your two children as separate people.
 

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From what you said " I don't feel anything for anything" -- to me it sounds like you are clinically depressed.
You should see your medical Dr to discuss.
As for the both of you cheating, you BOTH need to figure out WHY you did this. You should both be going to individual counseling. NEITHER of you are good marriage partners to the other due to these issues. You need those worked on and fixed before you can be good partners.

For YOU I would first work on finding out if you have depression and get that under control.
If you don't feel anything for anything, you won't feel anything for him or your marriage.
 

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I have already been and had help regarding my issues. Mine all came down to the trauma of what I did and lack of support. Unfortunately no amount or help nor anything else helps the feeling of emptiness that has crept up occasionally ever since
Did you get help from a MEDICAL dr, and not just a therapist? Great that you worked on why you cheated -- you should be able to guard against that happening for you in the future. BUT that hollow emptiness -- you need to get that looked in to by your Dr.
 

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Ugh, so sorry to hear the meds you've tried are not working. Has your Dr given up trying other meds? If so, you may want to see a psychiatrist instead of a general MD. They would have much more insight into what meds may work for you.
VERY sorry you are going through all this crap along WITH the depression.
 

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this is non constructive nor helpful. I have never once even thought about anyone aside from him until gave up my soul and biggest moral in that termination. It’s no wonder people don’t ask for experiences online and suffer in silence
In the kindest way, this is helpful - you have cheated but say you haven’t? And you mentioned things he has done but said you didn’t classify it as cheating? You are both cheaters, it’s true.

It’s a lot to cope with, so I’m not surprised you’re feeling an emptiness. Is it guilt for what you’ve done? Sorry you’re feeling this, but so stop cheating on eachother to fill that emptiness
 

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You sound extremely sad and I’m sorry for what you are feeling right now.
The relationship has some major issues. I know that different people consider different things cheating. You said he was talking to escorts... do you know if he ever met with anyone? Or it was all online or text? I guess I’m asking, do you consider what he did or could have done is cheating?

You both have a lot going on here and the whole situation seems really unhealthy, but you indicated you are both seeing counselors or professionals.... maybe yours isn’t really working so much it seems.

Is there something specifically that you want advice on or did you just need to vent? It would help if we knew what kind of advice you’re looking for. Maybe I missed that part.
 
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