Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm new to this forum and so thankful to find it! What support. I'm sure no one wants the long story. Short version: Found out by accidental text that husband of 18 years had something going. After discussion, found out that it was going on for 3 years. Meanwhile, being a perfectly loving and caring husband. I was blown away. This was a workplace thing and she still works there. Anyway, he did absolutely everything right when I found out. He couldn't have been more remorseful, cut it off right away, answered all of my questions, etc. Luckily we had a wonderful European trip already planned where we renewed our vows. We had hysterical bonding for months and things were better than ever. Of course I did go through the normal panic, weight loss, etc. initially. Now it's coming up on 4 months and all of a sudden I have horrible mood swings, and so much sadness. Mostly it's the anger that I never had before and I don't know why. I think this is probably normal, but my husband is now getting exasperated because he's tried so hard and things were going well. We know there will be setbacks, but I really want to move on, but somehow I feel now stuck. There are two main issues that bother me. We never sought counseling because we did everything right and frankly I never felt the need for couples counseling. I've started a journal, but I feel I need someone to talk to. Didn't tell friends or kids because we planned to work it out. Only 2 people know. Any experience? Should I seek IC? It's crazy but I worry more about hurting him when I get upset, which I did tonight. Makes him more guilty and depressed, yet we both know we have to talk about it.