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Hello. I’m 37 years old and I’ve been married and divorced 3 times, yes the divorces have been my fault and no one knows that but me (and my first ex since he was the only one I was ever truthful with in the end)
My first marriage started out meeting online when I was 19 and living in MI and he was 24 and living in IL, he was a super sweet guy. We eventually met and had a great weekend together and then I drove to IL to stay with him for a few days that turned into 6 years. He was amazing and I did him wrong after we had been together 4 years and then got married. We were having issues conceiving (on my end) and I needed a break. All the years leading up to it he would go on a hunting trip with his boss and be gone for a week. I would always find house projects to stay busy, but the year we were trying and going through fertility issues and miscarriage after miscarriage, I went online. I needed change and it was the only thing I knew to escape reality. I met someone online, we would meet occasionally and it continued for a while and things of course got worse between me and my SO. I eventually went to TX for Thanksgiving and stayed a week, slept around down there and did the worst thing anyone could ever do to someone they loved, told him over the phone. I said I wanted a divorce and I didn’t want to have a baby with him. My other two marriage/divorces ended the same way with me getting pissed, going online and leaving. So after that I was not looking to get married again, had several rocky small flings, got myself my own apartment, had a good job, a car that was paid for and then met my current SO..online. We talked for a few weeks and then spoke on the phone. He was funny, charming, considerate. Our first lunch date was at IHOP, then that next night he picked me up and brought flowers and we had a great time together bowling. He dropped me off at home and left. But then I found out he himself was going through a rough patch with his now exW. She up and left him, cleaned out the bank account. When I found out he was technically still married, I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I didn’t want to start a relationship that way. But we continued to talk, and eventually then it just became more as his divorce was coming to a finalization. He took on all her debt in medical bills (she was schizophrenic) and he was free and clear of alimony. We eventually moved in together and got married a year and a half later. I don’t know why I did this. It’s like I get married and instantly I regret it and try to make things worse. My sex drive has become Zero, our problems have intensified. We’ve been together 5 years. We argue all the time. His mood swings are bad. A few months back I had to be put on Cytomel along with my Synthroid for my hypothyroidism and I had to start on a Hormone Replacement Therapy due to hitting a premenopausal state from a hysterectomy about 7 years ago. Every time he wants to have sex, I have no drive. It’s a chore. I just want to tell him to go sleep with someone else because he’s not going to get any emotional out of me. I don’t know what to do. Last week I had to go stay at my MIL because it got so bad at home. He blocked our driveway with his vehicle and she had to come pick me up. We’re supposed to start marriage counseling Tuesday, but is it really going to work. All he cares about is sex and I just want his thoughtfulness to come back.
My first marriage started out meeting online when I was 19 and living in MI and he was 24 and living in IL, he was a super sweet guy. We eventually met and had a great weekend together and then I drove to IL to stay with him for a few days that turned into 6 years. He was amazing and I did him wrong after we had been together 4 years and then got married. We were having issues conceiving (on my end) and I needed a break. All the years leading up to it he would go on a hunting trip with his boss and be gone for a week. I would always find house projects to stay busy, but the year we were trying and going through fertility issues and miscarriage after miscarriage, I went online. I needed change and it was the only thing I knew to escape reality. I met someone online, we would meet occasionally and it continued for a while and things of course got worse between me and my SO. I eventually went to TX for Thanksgiving and stayed a week, slept around down there and did the worst thing anyone could ever do to someone they loved, told him over the phone. I said I wanted a divorce and I didn’t want to have a baby with him. My other two marriage/divorces ended the same way with me getting pissed, going online and leaving. So after that I was not looking to get married again, had several rocky small flings, got myself my own apartment, had a good job, a car that was paid for and then met my current SO..online. We talked for a few weeks and then spoke on the phone. He was funny, charming, considerate. Our first lunch date was at IHOP, then that next night he picked me up and brought flowers and we had a great time together bowling. He dropped me off at home and left. But then I found out he himself was going through a rough patch with his now exW. She up and left him, cleaned out the bank account. When I found out he was technically still married, I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I didn’t want to start a relationship that way. But we continued to talk, and eventually then it just became more as his divorce was coming to a finalization. He took on all her debt in medical bills (she was schizophrenic) and he was free and clear of alimony. We eventually moved in together and got married a year and a half later. I don’t know why I did this. It’s like I get married and instantly I regret it and try to make things worse. My sex drive has become Zero, our problems have intensified. We’ve been together 5 years. We argue all the time. His mood swings are bad. A few months back I had to be put on Cytomel along with my Synthroid for my hypothyroidism and I had to start on a Hormone Replacement Therapy due to hitting a premenopausal state from a hysterectomy about 7 years ago. Every time he wants to have sex, I have no drive. It’s a chore. I just want to tell him to go sleep with someone else because he’s not going to get any emotional out of me. I don’t know what to do. Last week I had to go stay at my MIL because it got so bad at home. He blocked our driveway with his vehicle and she had to come pick me up. We’re supposed to start marriage counseling Tuesday, but is it really going to work. All he cares about is sex and I just want his thoughtfulness to come back.
