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10 Posts
Wife and I both smoke (my bad). I want to quit and have been wanting to for quite some time. I started smoking again months after meeting her. We got pregnant and she tried to quit but failed, ultimately we lost the child. I don't necessarily think it was due to smoking.
After, I asked her to promise to quit if we were to get pregnant again. She agreed. We are now at 38 weeks and shes still smoking a pack and a half a day. We are scheduled for a cesarean in a week. Trying to quit has caused a lot of friction between us. I have quit a few times but ultimately fail. It's considerably more difficult to quit when someones smoking like a chimney.
I told her the time in the hospital would be a good opportunity to quit smoking. She basically just laughed. She said if I want to quit she won't stop me but shes not quitting. She is planning on breastfeeding as well. I told her if I quit I wouldn't support her habit and it would be up to her to get her own. She immediately said she would get a job and just formula feed. Later I asked her not to threaten me with taking away from the quality of life of our children. She said than don't threaten not to bring me cigarettes to the hospital.
This is the fourth child between us and all live at home.
I feel quitting smoking is very important for many reasons.
1. It's irresponsible financially considering how strapped we are already (we roll our own)
2. It sets a bad example for the children.
3. I'm 32 and both of my parents had heart problems. One died of pancreatic cancer, the other a massive heart attack.
4. I am a widower and the only person qualified in my family to raise my children so I need to be there for them. 7 & 10
5. It's disgusting and I am upset with myself for not being strong enough and would appreciate quitting together.
6. It's overall selfish.
She claims its too hard and doesn't want to quit. I suggested marriage counseling but her attitude and anger won't allow her to engage in that setting. I have tried everything to help her but she inevitably fails or refuses to try. I've been nice, mean, confrontational, played the psychologist, manipulated, talked to, threatened, everything you can imagine.
I feel she is being very selfish and makes demands but will not follow through with the things she promises. I admit i can be difficult at times but I do listen. I am 32 and she is 23 just to be fair I understand the age gap and try to be patient knowing the difference. However I feel that smoking is a priority to her and ultimately everyone else's needs or requirements come second. Her upbringing has a lot to do with it but I remain patient and understanding. I almost think she would choose smoking over me given the option.
She has tried E-cigarettes, cold turkey, and hypnosis. It's always just too hard.
Looking for quality feedback. No name calling or being accusational.
After, I asked her to promise to quit if we were to get pregnant again. She agreed. We are now at 38 weeks and shes still smoking a pack and a half a day. We are scheduled for a cesarean in a week. Trying to quit has caused a lot of friction between us. I have quit a few times but ultimately fail. It's considerably more difficult to quit when someones smoking like a chimney.
I told her the time in the hospital would be a good opportunity to quit smoking. She basically just laughed. She said if I want to quit she won't stop me but shes not quitting. She is planning on breastfeeding as well. I told her if I quit I wouldn't support her habit and it would be up to her to get her own. She immediately said she would get a job and just formula feed. Later I asked her not to threaten me with taking away from the quality of life of our children. She said than don't threaten not to bring me cigarettes to the hospital.
This is the fourth child between us and all live at home.
I feel quitting smoking is very important for many reasons.
1. It's irresponsible financially considering how strapped we are already (we roll our own)
2. It sets a bad example for the children.
3. I'm 32 and both of my parents had heart problems. One died of pancreatic cancer, the other a massive heart attack.
4. I am a widower and the only person qualified in my family to raise my children so I need to be there for them. 7 & 10
5. It's disgusting and I am upset with myself for not being strong enough and would appreciate quitting together.
6. It's overall selfish.
She claims its too hard and doesn't want to quit. I suggested marriage counseling but her attitude and anger won't allow her to engage in that setting. I have tried everything to help her but she inevitably fails or refuses to try. I've been nice, mean, confrontational, played the psychologist, manipulated, talked to, threatened, everything you can imagine.
I feel she is being very selfish and makes demands but will not follow through with the things she promises. I admit i can be difficult at times but I do listen. I am 32 and she is 23 just to be fair I understand the age gap and try to be patient knowing the difference. However I feel that smoking is a priority to her and ultimately everyone else's needs or requirements come second. Her upbringing has a lot to do with it but I remain patient and understanding. I almost think she would choose smoking over me given the option.
She has tried E-cigarettes, cold turkey, and hypnosis. It's always just too hard.
Looking for quality feedback. No name calling or being accusational.
