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I have been as of yesterday married for 36 years !
I found out my husband has been having an affair with our designer for 5 years. I was made aware of this 8 months ago. I tried for these eight months to get over this, however, it is virtually impossible when he won’t get rid of her !! Nor will she leave !! Apparently she is important to his business
Well you know what “you shouldn’t eat where you _hit”
 

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Of course he won't get rid of her, because he can have you both! He still has her and you haven't gone anywhere either. He has everything he wants.
 

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'Our designer"--do you own part of the business? 5 years--she is now more important to him than you are. No way you can get over it when he has no remorse--flaunts this in your face. Does she have a SO that you have informed? She younger?

Has he repeatedly been unfaithful throughout your marriage? You want to spend the rest of your life playing second or third fiddle? Your choice.
 

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It’s not easy to leave 36 Year marriage. I know I’m in same boat actually. I know the ups and downs and rage your feeling. What does he say about all this??? It’s not your fault he cheated he made that choice how he’s justifying it in his mind ( somehow they do) see a therapist or talk to one ASAP. They can help you decide what’s best for you. If he will sit down with a counselor with you that would be a plus.
 

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It’s not easy to leave 36 Year marriage. I know I’m in same boat actually. I know the ups and downs and rage your feeling. What does he say about all this??? It’s not your fault he cheated he made that choice how he’s justifying it in his mind ( somehow they do) see a therapist or talk to one ASAP. They can help you decide what’s best for you. If he will sit down with a counselor with you that would be a plus.
I agree with all of the above, except sitting down with a counselor with him. That is pointless. Unless he is truly repentant, which he isn't if he's still got her in his life, having therapy with him is worse than pointless; it can actually make matters worse.
 
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