Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi,
This is my second marriage, we have been together for 11years 3 married. We entered the marriage after a lot of turmoil on both sides, 12 page prenup, no commingling of funds, a Trust document leaving me his home upon his death. He has many health issues, recovering sex addict, on medical disability. I work full time at a great job, can afford to live and travel. He bought a new house put a lot of money into it, no communication about any financial decisions because it’s his money. This was “Our Forever Home” I was so excited went out buying things to make it homey and ours....then it hit, financial problem with investments and now he changed trust to remove me from having the house.
Told me he wasn’t leaving half of his estate to me and my kids..as you can guess we are deteriorating as a couple, he broke my trust with him. He says I need to get over it and be realistic this home is 200k more then the other one and he only moved because I hated the old house. Which I did....very dark and old neighborhood. How do I get over the trust issue?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,990 Posts
Hi,
This is my second marriage, we have been together for 11years 3 married. We entered the marriage after a lot of turmoil on both sides, 12 page prenup, no commingling of funds, a Trust document leaving me his home upon his death. He has many health issues, recovering sex addict, on medical disability. I work full time at a great job, can afford to live and travel. He bought a new house put a lot of money into it, no communication about any financial decisions because it’s his money. This was “Our Forever Home” I was so excited went out buying things to make it homey and ours....then it hit, financial problem with investments and now he changed trust to remove me from having the house.
Told me he wasn’t leaving half of his estate to me and my kids..as you can guess we are deteriorating as a couple, he broke my trust with him. He says I need to get over it and be realistic this home is 200k more then the other one and he only moved because I hated the old house. Which I did....very dark and old neighborhood. How do I get over the trust issue?
You don’t get over it.He lied and cheated you out of your house.
Why waste your life with this guy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
His family are wealthy and the prenup was requested by his father due to his first divorce costing a lot of money. Where she now resides in her home out in the country with no financial worries!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,336 Posts
Kind of hard to spite him for protecting his daughter. Breaking up and losing your personal security blanket is a tough pill to swallow. You did say you have a good job so thats a big plus.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,764 Posts
He shouldn't have left his daughter out of the trust in the first place. Did he have just cause in saying he put you in the trust under duress or under pressure?

Sounds to me like you both kind of screwed up and shouldn't have done that in the first place.

I guess you do have a right to be somewhat disheartened since he went back on his word, but that is something you both should not have done to begin with.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
He never left his daughter out, I was only getting the home we leave in his daughter received everything else. Now his daughter gets everything and I just continue to pay $1,000 a month rent. He pays for nothing for me...my phone, car, insurance I even pay for all the food.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
He was leaving everything else to his daughter I just got the home which I pay 1,000 rent every month to live in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,892 Posts
how is you will drawn up ? does he get anything?
does he have a life insurance policy in your name?
have you told him that you will stop investing the $1000. a month?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
He has no life insurance and my will is set to go to my children. We are financially on different fields.
My first marriage left me with nothing, where I worked my butt off and rebuilt my life financially and mentally. I afford everything myself not relying on him at all, even having the ability to drive a luxury car. He was leaving me the house for the comfort of me having a home...his way of taking care of me. His health issues being in a way that he will not outlive me unless of an accident. Me not giving him the $1000 is a non starter...who am I to think when we got married I would expect to be taken care of!
One of our fights he said he wouldn’t leave the house for my kids.
I feel like it’s spirally downhill.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
I was in a dream.... i never thought it would come down to this...he and his daughter are on my health insurance (which I make him pay for) since his is on medical disability
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,361 Posts
He never left his daughter out, I was only getting the home we leave in his daughter received everything else. Now his daughter gets everything and I just continue to pay $1,000 a month rent. He pays for nothing for me...my phone, car, insurance I even pay for all the food.
You keep your finances separate. Why should he pay anything for you?

You live in his home. Why shouldn't you pay rent? If you think he's charging you too much, renegotiate. If you'd rather be getting equity, buy a house and either live in it yourself or rent it out.

His estate took a financial hit causing him to re-evaluate and change his will so that he leaves a decent inheritance to his daughter. Which is totally his right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
You keep your finances separate. Why should he pay anything for you?

You live in his home. Why shouldn't you pay rent? If you think he's charging you too much, renegotiate. If you'd rather be getting equity, buy a house and either live in it yourself or rent it out.

His estate took a financial hit causing him to re-evaluate and change his will so that he leaves a decent inheritance to his daughter. Which is totally his right.
It was his promise to me before we got married.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
6,350 Posts
I was in a dream.... i never thought it would come down to this...he and his daughter are on my health insurance (which I make him pay for) since his is on medical disability
Yet you've previously gone through a divorce, (so you know the pain of it), you're fiercely independent, and you went through 8 years of turmoil with this person prior to being married?

He's a recovering addict, and he broke your trust by doing what? Taking you off the trust?

And if he promised this to you prior to being married, did you have it written up as part of the prenup?

I don't know you, so this isn't personal, but it just seems sooo dysfunctional. What was the point of getting married?
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top