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25th Anniversary for a cheating narcissist.

3158 Views 9 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  C-man
Today would have been my 25th Anniversary. I wasn't expecting to contact my pathologically lying, cheating STBXW at all. A day to move on. Planning to take my two daughters out to a great restaurant to celebrate us. Started out to be a good day.

Instead, my STBXW emails me saying that she wants to take my kids to the Cayman Islands after New Years for 5 days. She wants my approval. My STBXW who has only had the kids for 5 days since moving out on October 19th. I suspect that she has a girls vacation planned with some of her toxic friends, with my eldest daughter slated to babysit while the girlfriends party. She denies this.

Anyway, my wife is disloyal, a cheater and a proven liar. I no longer believe a word she says.

Asking for my approval for a holiday vacation with my daughters and asking on what would have been our 25th Anniversary is completely par for the course with her. It is all about her, all the time.

Sorry, just venting....
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lies do continue in unexpected ways and forms...
Sorry the lies are not leaving you in peace!
Just tell her you're not okay with that.
So say no. She can't take the kids out of country without your approval.
She is not *asking* you for approval, she *needs* your approval to take them out of the country...I'm I right?

I wouldn't give her my word but a would tell her yes. If you know what I mean? Then when it comes to writen consent to leave the country forget you even said yes.....Yes I am a deveiant.
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Say no and ignore any other mail you continue to receive about this issue.
Cedar, you know you are dealing with an HPD, and this is just typical drama crap from her.

She will create drama so that you have to give her attention. She's not after your approval or disapproval for the trip. She's after your attention.

All the advice I've read about leaving an HPD is that you must go strict NC. Unfortunately, like me, you have kids involved and NC is not possible.

Realize that you are going to have to put up with this type of nonsense for as long as your kids are "kids". Ugh.
Thanks all. Worse, when I said that I am not OK with it, especially with the roundabout way she asked (last week, asked to switch weeks with me so that Christmas would fall under "my" week - I just KNEW there was an ulterior motive) - my wife replied and cc'd our mediator.

So she's trying to make me seem unreasonable to our mediator. So I replied back cc'ing all, that out of 34 days, she only had the kids for 5. She has hardly done her share of parenting. But she wants to be the "good time" Mom. Showering her kids with shopping, vacations, anything but consistent love and attention.

I can't believe I lasted as long as I did with this narcissistic, self-centered, childish woman.

Oh well, getting ready to go out for a nice dinner at a great restaurant with my two daughters. Not how I expected to spend my 25th Anniversary, but it will be great nonetheless.
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Don't try to justify you choice.

Tell her and the mediator - No. No taking my kids out of the country.

Besides where is the money for the trip coming from? You aren't divorced yet so are you actually paying 50% for this trip?
No, my wife and I have been totally independent financially since about our fifth year of marriage. She is quite successful and makes a lot of money. Of course, she forgets that I got her started in the business and supported her when she got started. Actually, my entire family and my parents friends moved a lot of money over to her when she first got started. Funny how she can't seem to remember any of that now!

I let the mediator know how little my wife has done in the past month and a half. I am actually OK with her taking the kids but NOT OK with how she asked and how let me know about it. Her typical trickle truth way. And if I find out my oldest daughter was used as a babysitter, I will be extremely upset.

I don't want to refuse the request though, because I already have a trip planned for March break out of the country and have already purchased the plane tickets (this was before we split - have four tickets!!) I'll need her permission at that time. Guess I'll have to find somebody else to keep me company on the trip... Naahh - too soon, I'll just cancel her ticket...
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