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Why are you afraid you won't have any money? Why are you worried about a place to live? THIS IS LIFE. You can sit around twiddling your thumbs and crying, "Why me?" or you can be PROACTIVE and see an attorney. I mean, c'mon, is staying in a sexless marriage with a drunk worth it? You aren't living, you are existing. And, yes, life comes with challenges and pain. But unless you make a decision to actually LIVE your life, you will remain stuck.

And, I assure you, STUCK is a hell of your own making. Seriously.
 
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I left him last summer, withthi those conditions. It was great for awhile. He is reverting back to same actions. He thinks I don't know. The other thing is he watches porn behind my back. He can watch porn but doesn't want me. I'm an attractive lady; he's just not interested in sex anymore. Refuses to go to the doctor and continues to lie about drinking.
I am so sorry.
 
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I want to apologize for coming across as a hard ass. I really understand what you are going through, having spent far too long living with my alcoholic husband. I assure you, there IS a better life out there. I'm living proof that leaving the insanity of addiction CAN be done. The life I have today is tranquil and enjoyable. Don't let your fear dictate the choices you make; make your choices in spite of the fear. You won't regret it.
 

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I've been married for 23 years. My husband has been an achohollic for years. Erectile disfunction has been an issue for 15 years. I think because of the alcohol. The past 15 years, have been very hard for me. I feel unattractive and emotionally empty. I haven't even had a kiss is 15 years. I don't know what to do? I love him like a family member; but I need to have touch! I know he lives me; but I don't know how to live without sex. I'm so depressed.
Nene
You really don't know what to do? If it wasn't you what would you advise someone else to do in your situation?

Look I think the first and best thing we can say to you is, nothing is going to change unless you change your reaction to all this. Your husband isn't suddenly going to have an epiphany and get better, unfortunately. That is going to be up to you.
You need to talk to him about how you feel. 15 years is a very long time though, I would prepare myself for the very real chance that he has no intention of changing. You only get one life.
 
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NC,

You wrote, The past 15 years, have been very hard for me. I feel unattractive and emotionally empty. I haven't even had a kiss is 15 years.

I can tell you, that you are not alone in feeling alone like that.

I envy anyone I see kissing or even kissing in movies, porno sex no envy because there is no real passion in that.

I wonder when I see another couple if they still kiss.
 
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