I have nothing to offer as far as a solution. Having lived through sexless marriage I remember when desperate telling my wife that every time we don’t when we could, is gone forever. Guess what? I got a medical issue that has ended ( maybe not forever) my ability to get an erection. I’m not sure what that has done for her, but I harbor a great deal of resentment. We have sex a little more often, as best we can, but I’m sure it’s from guilt.This is kinda working for me right now -- not obsessing about it 24/7. Wondering etc..it is helping clear my head in a lot of ways.
My DW SIL is in town for the weekend. She is now divorced for 2 years. I asked her about it last night casually. Because she does not believe in premarital sex has no plans of dating again and sites her deep relationship with God as satisfying her needs. I only mention it because of the shared DNA. She repeatedly said "marriage is hard" and people change. Her EXH was kinda a loser and brought zero to the marriage. And I think she is kinda a man hater now - at least a little bit.
DO SOMETHING TO SOLVE THE ISSUE!