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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was married 17 years and been divorced 2 years. Ive been dating a terrific women for almost 18 months. We have some problems,,, some seem impossible incapatabilities and some of those are sexual in nature. I only mention that bc after 17 years with one women,,, you feel like there are some things you cant negotiate,, you either have that chemistry or you dont. I REALLY care for this women. She is solid gold as for character which at my age seems almost impossible to find.
I hate to sound like an idiot but no guy that I know wants a women with a ton of miles,, yes its not fair, I understand this.
I have a friend that keeps trying to get me to meet this other women and Ive always said no. Lately I have looked at her facebook and ive gotten a few pics of her. It seems on the surface we have a little more in-common than my current girl but I dont know what the right thing to do is. Everyday, I feel like a jerk if I even think of the 2nd girl. I feel like its cheating. I do want to meet her but what if I like her???
I dont think I would break it off with the 1st girl bc I do care so much so why waste my time and heart-ache??
I geuss that after 17 years, I just dont know how to play this game or how to date or what is or isnt ok to do.
I wouldnt want her doing it to me so I feel aweful. BUT, Im not married to her and maybe this girl is better. GOD I sound like Im comparing cars or something. I feel stupid and horrible.
Do I meet the 2nd girl or not?? Would it be cheating if we just talked on the phone??
 

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My advice is to talk to your GF if you have enough love and trust between you. I believe honesty is best... She should know where she stands.

However, you know what may happen if you think the grass may be greener...
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yes, I understDnd but I don't think relationships are that easy. I feel like,,, if I'm 2nd geussing the 1st girl,, maybe the relationship isn't all I thought it was. Maybe it is and after getting burned I feel like it needs tested??
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Agree with BeachGuy.

Is she your girlfriend, or are you just dating her? If she'd walk if you said you aren't exclusive, then...it sounds like what you want is to feel okay about cheating on your girlfriend.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Not cheating. I guess you can't make a friend bc you have a girlfriend. Just don't know if what I have is what I want. It's confusing really. I'm prob not articulating well.
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I don't know what I want??? That's my problem. After 17 years of marriage and a terrible divorce,, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to females. I geuss the 2nd girl has just peaked my interest and the 1st girl and I have been having problems.
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
She is very close with her ex husband which causes problems. She has issues with money and we argue about sex. We both have kids the same age and again,, she's a great girl. I exercise a lot and enjoy wTching the news and keeping up on world events and money.
She doesn't know the difference between a democrat and republican and she doesn't care either. We get along fairly well but I'm afraid that I'm finding out we don't have a ton in-common. She is absolutly beautiful and I know that shouldn't matter a ton but she has that wow factor.
I think that the "in-common" stuff has been been bothering me. This other girl works out and on the surface looks intriguing. Thanks for asking
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As long as you let the 1st know what's going on BEFORE anything happens so she can decide what she want's to do then go meet the 2nd girl.
If you feel like you would be doing something innapropriate and wouldn't like your the 1st girl doing the same thing or don't feel comfortable talking to the 1st girl about it then your doing something innapropriate.
 

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It sounds like you did not do a lot of dating before you settled in with the first woman. And now you are wanting to date others. Perhaps #1 is a transitional relationship and you are growing beyond her.

The arguments about sex can be a huge deal breaker. I don't know what the issues are, but basically, if you argue about sex the relationship it a no go. The arguments will most likely just get worse and more frequent over time.

Dating is about finding out if a person is someone we want to spend the rest of our life with. Too often people just settle with the first person they meet. Then they stick with it trying to make a square it into a round hole.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Elegirl ,
Yes, I've thought the same thing. She really is a great person. I believe what you say is 110% correct but what do I do now??
I feel like such a jerk bc I want to just test the water a little. By that I mean just talk but it still seems wrong
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Elegirl ,
Yes, I've thought the same thing. She really is a great person. I believe what you say is 110% correct but what do I do now??
I feel like such a jerk bc I want to just test the water a little. By that I mean just talk but it still seems wrong
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Well you know you can't eat cake & good for you for being honest.

It appears that your desire to date other women is very strong. I think you should let your g/f go if she is not okay with this. I know I would let you go if you had these desires.
 
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