You ALREADY KNOW that hiding his relationship with this woman is not the ONLY thing he's hiding from you.
Are there OTHER WOMEN? He does not have to be having sexual relations with them to be having an affair. He is, most probably, having an emotional affair with this woman.
He does NOT respect you. He hides his activities from you so that he can
continue to do whatever he pleases
continue to do things he KNOWS you disapprove of
continue to cultivate this inappropriate emotional relationship that he has FLATLY refused to quit
Is this a DEAL-BREAKER for you? How do YOU feel about being married to a man who lies to you, deceives you, has no respect for your feelings, is carrying on with another woman, etc. He is getting SOME EMOTIONAL NEED(s) MET from this woman that he is NOT getting from you. That being said, WHAT (if anything) have you two done about improving your marriage and getting both of your needs met? Anything?
Only you can decide if this is worth giving up 35 years of marriage.
What if you found out he was having sex with her? What if you found out he was telling her your personal business? What if you found out he was telling her what a bad wife you are? What if you found out he was telling her 'I love you', 'I miss you', etc.
I think you need to DEMAND marital counseling with your husband. If he refuses, then you need to get individual counseling to help you come to terms with where you stand in your life and what is the best future for you. A professional can help you get there.
Good luck and keep coming to TAM, we'll be here for you!
Are there OTHER WOMEN? He does not have to be having sexual relations with them to be having an affair. He is, most probably, having an emotional affair with this woman.
He does NOT respect you. He hides his activities from you so that he can
continue to do whatever he pleases
continue to do things he KNOWS you disapprove of
continue to cultivate this inappropriate emotional relationship that he has FLATLY refused to quit
Is this a DEAL-BREAKER for you? How do YOU feel about being married to a man who lies to you, deceives you, has no respect for your feelings, is carrying on with another woman, etc. He is getting SOME EMOTIONAL NEED(s) MET from this woman that he is NOT getting from you. That being said, WHAT (if anything) have you two done about improving your marriage and getting both of your needs met? Anything?
Only you can decide if this is worth giving up 35 years of marriage.
What if you found out he was having sex with her? What if you found out he was telling her your personal business? What if you found out he was telling her what a bad wife you are? What if you found out he was telling her 'I love you', 'I miss you', etc.
I think you need to DEMAND marital counseling with your husband. If he refuses, then you need to get individual counseling to help you come to terms with where you stand in your life and what is the best future for you. A professional can help you get there.
Good luck and keep coming to TAM, we'll be here for you!
