2 of our married friends have prostate problems..........

One has survived surgery, is very open about it and he and his wife now counsel other patients. We are quite convinced that they still have a love life.
The other is going through the diagnostic process. Before all his problems kicked off his wife told my wife that they had not made love for over a year, despite her showing interest in it. We can guess what is happening now.
We need suggestions on how to help them. He won't talk, his wife has said that her husband has specifically asked that I don't talk to him though she wants me to. The odd coincidence is that the first wife and the second wife know each other from wayback in high school.