[jguy1987]

I am in need of some help in a relationship.
I have been seeing someone for 2.5 months now and as far as us getting along and having a great time together all is great.

History: She has been married divorce (6 years) w/child, me married divorced (3 years) with kids. We are same age 41.

What has happened over the course of the relationship is that we are coming up against a wall. For the past 3 weeks we have hit a point were she will come up with issues about complete commitment. These issues are fears of opening up heart completely and setting up for a heartbreak from me. This pattern has happened with her other relationships also.
I am sure this is from her past relationships (as well as worried about me going back to a long term ex.

What can one do to dispel or break down the walls in a relationship?
Is it something that can me overcome?
Is the relationship in jeopardy?
Is it a deeper issue with her or me?

I am committed to her and the relationship and love and trust her completely. Just lost a little bit at the moment at what to do.

 

[keepsmiling]

Time is your best bet. You're in a new relationship, lord knows how much stuff happened in both your previous ones, and depending how long ago her last one ended that could well still be on her mind sometimes.
You sound decent and considerate, and I don't doubt that if you hang in there and just give it time, she will learn that she can rely on you, all men are not the same, and so on.
Also people do take different amounts of time to fully open up, don't worry, it doesn't mean anything is wrong. Just be there for her, reassure her with words as well, and she will start to be more comfortable with you. Best wishes

 

[jguy1987]

Time is your best bet. You're in a new relationship, lord knows how much stuff happened in both your previous ones, and depending how long ago her last one ended that could well still be on her mind sometimes.
You sound decent and considerate, and I don't doubt that if you hang in there and just give it time, she will learn that she can rely on you, all men are not the same, and so on.
Also people do take different amounts of time to fully open up, don't worry, it doesn't mean anything is wrong. Just be there for her, reassure her with words as well, and she will start to be more comfortable with you. Best wishes

Thanks for your kind words. I agree time is probably the best the best thing. It just has a drain on me when we go through this.