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Hi All,
Found this in my old documents folder and thought it might be a good thing to share. I wrote it as part of the mourning process. Maybe it will help remind some folks why they are considering divorce.

SJ


Some of the things I don’t miss about you…

1. I don’t miss being slapped, kicked or having alcohol thrown in my face.
2. I don’t miss you yelling at me and berating me.
3. I don’t miss you teasing me about my ADD and not believing I have it.
4. I don’t miss you not respecting that I have a tough time being organized.
5. I don’t miss your spending sprees without telling me.
6. I don’t miss having no say in plans.
7. I don’t miss how you faun over your mother.
8. I don’t miss financing her trips with my money and no say in it.
9. I don’t miss your snarky comments.
10. I don’t miss not making love for months at a time.
11. I don’t miss going to bed without you because you were staying up til all hours gaming.
12. I don’t miss falling asleep to the sound of your clicking keyboard knowing I wouldn’t see you until the morning.
13. I don’t miss you having to work weekends while I was with the kids.
14. I don’t miss your having to work late.
15. I don’t miss you working weekends.
16. I don’t miss you hiding windows when I came over to your desk.
17. I don’t miss how everything had to be your way.
18. I don’t miss being turned down for love 90% of the time.
19. I don’t miss being less important than work, your mother or just anything.
20. I don’t miss how you piled stuff in my office like it was a junk heap.
21. I don’t miss how you never said thank you for me doing anything.
22. I don’t miss having to constantly ask for feedback to get the food right.
23. I don’t miss how you considered my hobbies to be juvenile.
24. I don’t miss your steadfast refusal to allow me a motorcycle.
25. I don’t miss the secrecy about your phone.
26. I don’t miss your mother….at all.
27. I don’t miss you rolling your eyes when I say I can’t pick up the kids.
28. I don’t miss your “guilty” Chinese food…a “thank for cooking” would have taken care of that.
29. I don’t miss having shoes thrown at me.
30. I don’t miss you waving knives in my face.
31. I don’t miss that you hooked up with someone else at CON …twice.
32. I don’t miss that were unfaithful.
33. I don’t miss that you selfish.
34. I don’t miss that you were self-centered.
35. I don’t miss that there was NEVER any room for my needs.
36. I don’t miss how you used to attack me if I brought up one of my needs.
37. I don’t miss how cruel you could be.
38. I don’t miss the ridiculous color shades you died your hair.
39. I don’t miss your fat comments.
40. I don’t miss your betrayal.
41. I don’t miss that you knew you were leaving me for a YEAR before you told me.
42. I don’t miss that you would buy lunch out while I took leftovers to work.
43. I don’t miss that you could buy clothes any time you wanted because it was “your money”.
44. I don’t miss paying the yearly taxes out of my personal account.
45. I don’t miss that you spent more on coffee in a week than I did in four months.
46. I don’t miss the bald “jokes”.
47. I don’t miss doing all the shopping “because I do all the cooking.”
48. I don’t miss you refusing to do dishes when I cooked.
49. I don’t miss you choosing your mother over me EVERY time.
50. I don’t miss you buying cars without asking.
51. I don’t miss you buying kitchens without asking.
52. I don’t miss you laughing at me because I forgot something important.
53. I don’t miss you forgetting my birthday.
54. I don’t miss bring you dinner at the computer desk.
55. I don’t miss your cooking…really. I don’t.
56. I don’t miss your “moods”.
57. I don’t miss the “one comment” nights that meant no romance.
58. I don’t miss you crying to manipulate me.
59. I don’t miss the silent treatment.
60. I don’t miss the claim “you always apologized first”.
61. I don’t miss the surprises when coming back from shopping.
62. I don’t miss being backed into a corner over the phone when pet shopping…without my input.
63. I don’t miss being manipulated into getting another dog so soon after Piggy died.
64. I don’t miss fabric softener. You knew I hated it and used it anyway.
65. I don’t miss your awful choices in perfume and how much you wore.
66. I don’t miss the amount of jewelry you wear.
67. I don’t miss your smoking.
68. I don’t miss how you would just fling your butts anywhere.
69. I don’t miss buying lingerie to see it used once.
70. I don’t miss getting you gifts and you criticizing them.
71. I don’t miss you not trying to understand plans.
72. I don’t miss that huge couch.
73. I don’t miss being a moneylender to your mother.
74. I don’t miss how you simply threw money at things.
75. I don’t miss how you “gave up on us and didn’t tell me”
76. I don’t miss you withholding love.
77. I don’t miss the things you said when you announced.
78. I don’t miss being told I was repulsive.
79. I don’t miss getting kicked out of bed, injuring my back.
80. I don’t miss you laughing about it.
81. I don’t miss you telling yourself you didn’t do it.
82. I don’t miss your minimization.
83. I don’t miss your alcoholic rages.
84. I don’t miss my kids waking up crying because you are telling me to get out.
85. I don’t miss you dialing 911 to get a rise out of me.
86. I don’t miss you blaming me for your laundry mistakes.
87. I don’t miss the person you claim to be.
88. I don’t miss your superior attitude.
89. I don’t miss your interfering with my friends.
90. I don’t miss you sabotaging my therapy with Louise.
91. I don’t miss that slept with some three weeks after you left the house.
92. I don’t miss that you spied on me and Facebook stalked me.
93. I don’t miss your secretive attitude towards our finances.
94. I don’t miss the way you sleep hogging covers and the bed.
95. I don’t miss you passing out on the couch.
96. I don’t miss begging for intimacy.
97. I don’t miss apologizing for things you imagined I did.
98. I don’t miss you blaming me for the marriage going south when you left, filed and sad you were glad.
99. I don’t miss your rationalizations for all the good things end the marriage will bring to our family.

But mostly…
100. I don’t miss you who you have become.
 
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Discussion Starter #3
Nah. I got into a rythym and just decided to make it an even 100.
It lived on my refridgerator (sp?) for a while. :)

I used to look at it when I was feeling "nostalgic".
 

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Really helps to maintain accurate perspective, huh?

I sometimes resort to a similar strategy when I find myself entertaining nostalgic "good" thoughts about my ex. Snaps me out of my stupor fairly quickly.

I guess we all are cognizant of what our exes could have become had they exercised their free will more wisely. What a waste.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Really helps to maintain accurate perspective, huh?

I sometimes resort to a similar strategy when I find myself entertaining nostalgic "good" thoughts about my ex. Snaps me out of my stupor fairly quickly.

I guess we all are cognizant of what our exes could have become had they exercised their free will more wisely. What a waste.
I have always said she could have saved 75% of her energy if she just addressed the problems with me. :)

Sometimes I think people are too quick to throw away things that could be great with a little spit and polish.
 

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Wow. What a sad, yet awesome, list! This would be something very therapeutic for people either going through divorce, or newly divorced...what a great way to gain perspective!
Thanks
I used to use it in therapy with kids. Works really well. I figured I might as well try it.

Needless to say I was very surprised to get to 100 and still have things I could have said. :)
 
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