Chapter 2: Close call! Where did THAT come from?
So our sexless marriage is chugging along really well, other than the that obvious (and giant) issue. But I am continuing to tell myself that the rest of it all makes up for it, and besides, it's like getting back in touch with my frustrated teenage years - "I'll be out in a minute mom, just cleaning up my room!" :lol:
My wife goes on an international business trip to Asia for a conference. It's a really cool opportunity, first time to Asia. She invites me to come with her and proposes extending the trip a few days so we can really take the city in, but I can't. I have a client coming into town that week and can't get away. So off she goes for 4 days in Thailand.
The night she gets back, she seems off. Can't put my finger on it, but seems emotionally distant and not herself. Weird. Then it gets weirder. She has a few drinks after dinner (she usually is a one or two drink maximum girl at this point), then we head to bed and she initiates sex. I am confused and beginning to hear alarm bells in my head. She falls asleep, and I get up and go downstairs as my brain is trying to make sense of it all.
I notice her purse and some things on the counter, including her hotel bill etc. I notice on the hotel bill that there are charges for 6 drinks missing from her mini fridge. I immediately know something is VERY wrong now. She doesn't drink that much, and NEVER drinks out of a minibar. Plus, 6 drinks in 2 nights? I go to bed pissed and sick to my stomach, but know there is no point to waking her up at 2:00 am while tipsy and trying to have the conversation.
The next morning, I sit her down and tell her I know something is up. I tell her she needs to come clean right now on what happened in Thailand. I did not tip my hand on what I knew, but warned her I knew a lot more than she would expect and this was her one shot to get it out on the table. She burst into tears and told me the following.
She had been out to dinner with a group of airline employees (both her company and others) and they had a couple of drinks with dinner. When they came back to the hotel, they were all hanging out in the lobby having drinks and laughing. She then tells me that the hotel bar closed, but none of the group was tired due to the time change. So she volunteered to go up and get a round of drinks for the group from her room. She tells me that one of the guys offered to help carry stuff.
She tells me at this point, that she had been flirting a little with this guy earlier etc. She says he had started chatting her up, hitting on her etc. She admitted that it felt good, she was enjoying the attention etc.
So they get to her room, go in for the drinks, he makes a pass and they start kissing. She tells me they kissed for a minute or two, he started to push her towards the bed and she freaked. She realized what was happening and pushed him away, grabbed 3 of the drinks and told him they needed to get back down to the group and walked out. She said he followed her with the drinks and they went back downstairs to the lobby. She said she waited about 5 minutes then left the group and went back to her room where she cried etc.
She tells me this story through her own tears, keeps apologizing etc. I am pissed and shocked. Don't know what to make of it all. But feel like her story lines up with the info I have (that she didn't know I had), so I tell her how upset I am and disappointed that she would put herself in that situation (drinking heavily with coworkers, flirting and allowing a guy int her room etc). I swallow the story as is, and decided to forgive her. Tell her I am pissed, that she can't behave like that as a married woman and she better not pull this sh1t again. Then I close the chapter and move on.
Rug sweep anyone? :smthumbup: If only I knew then what we all know now . . . .
Gee, I am certain that all of you TAM masters are shocked at the way this story has played out so far, and can't possibly guess where we are headed in chapter 3! :rofl:
So our sexless marriage is chugging along really well, other than the that obvious (and giant) issue. But I am continuing to tell myself that the rest of it all makes up for it, and besides, it's like getting back in touch with my frustrated teenage years - "I'll be out in a minute mom, just cleaning up my room!" :lol:
My wife goes on an international business trip to Asia for a conference. It's a really cool opportunity, first time to Asia. She invites me to come with her and proposes extending the trip a few days so we can really take the city in, but I can't. I have a client coming into town that week and can't get away. So off she goes for 4 days in Thailand.
The night she gets back, she seems off. Can't put my finger on it, but seems emotionally distant and not herself. Weird. Then it gets weirder. She has a few drinks after dinner (she usually is a one or two drink maximum girl at this point), then we head to bed and she initiates sex. I am confused and beginning to hear alarm bells in my head. She falls asleep, and I get up and go downstairs as my brain is trying to make sense of it all.
I notice her purse and some things on the counter, including her hotel bill etc. I notice on the hotel bill that there are charges for 6 drinks missing from her mini fridge. I immediately know something is VERY wrong now. She doesn't drink that much, and NEVER drinks out of a minibar. Plus, 6 drinks in 2 nights? I go to bed pissed and sick to my stomach, but know there is no point to waking her up at 2:00 am while tipsy and trying to have the conversation.
The next morning, I sit her down and tell her I know something is up. I tell her she needs to come clean right now on what happened in Thailand. I did not tip my hand on what I knew, but warned her I knew a lot more than she would expect and this was her one shot to get it out on the table. She burst into tears and told me the following.
She had been out to dinner with a group of airline employees (both her company and others) and they had a couple of drinks with dinner. When they came back to the hotel, they were all hanging out in the lobby having drinks and laughing. She then tells me that the hotel bar closed, but none of the group was tired due to the time change. So she volunteered to go up and get a round of drinks for the group from her room. She tells me that one of the guys offered to help carry stuff.
She tells me at this point, that she had been flirting a little with this guy earlier etc. She says he had started chatting her up, hitting on her etc. She admitted that it felt good, she was enjoying the attention etc.
So they get to her room, go in for the drinks, he makes a pass and they start kissing. She tells me they kissed for a minute or two, he started to push her towards the bed and she freaked. She realized what was happening and pushed him away, grabbed 3 of the drinks and told him they needed to get back down to the group and walked out. She said he followed her with the drinks and they went back downstairs to the lobby. She said she waited about 5 minutes then left the group and went back to her room where she cried etc.
She tells me this story through her own tears, keeps apologizing etc. I am pissed and shocked. Don't know what to make of it all. But feel like her story lines up with the info I have (that she didn't know I had), so I tell her how upset I am and disappointed that she would put herself in that situation (drinking heavily with coworkers, flirting and allowing a guy int her room etc). I swallow the story as is, and decided to forgive her. Tell her I am pissed, that she can't behave like that as a married woman and she better not pull this sh1t again. Then I close the chapter and move on.
Rug sweep anyone? :smthumbup: If only I knew then what we all know now . . . .
Gee, I am certain that all of you TAM masters are shocked at the way this story has played out so far, and can't possibly guess where we are headed in chapter 3! :rofl: