I was so tired. I am sure he felt like I was never going to consider him "enough." And to be honest, it was because he wasn't.
This is the tough thing... having someone tell you “well it’s never good enough for you” is a set up. Because “never” means if you respond that it’s not good enough they are a perpetual victim of your “bullying.” If you accept the premise they’ve won. So what really is going on?
Just gonna put this out there: part of the frustration is your dating persona vs your real persona. If you went out of your way to act unlike your normal self you’re misleading your partner. If you were a neat freak while dating and then turned into a slob, can you be honest and admit you’re a slob and you didn’t what to chase them away with your slovenliness? It’s not uncommon for people to diet, starve themselves; workout like crazy when dating but at their core just really aren’t fit or healthy eaters. They’ll quit eating right and working out because they’re over the finish line and can be who they really are. Or take a person that is sexually aggressive or overly romantic while dating than five years after marriage tells you they just aren’t that sexual and have never been.
I think some are responding to the wrong issue. It’s not that it’s never/not good enough...it’s that it’ll be never good enough because they were not presenting who they really are before marriage.
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