In the demanding perfection thing, there are two arguments that annoy me.
- When she insists that washing the dishes before using them or after is equally clean and tidy. Yet, actually chooses to use a clean one instead. In this case, she was a victim when challenged and dumped and I was demanding perfection.
- "I cannot reach his impossible standards! So there is no point in contributing anything" - if it were a genuine problem, the solution would be he does the basics of cleaning and you finish off to your standards. I recall my ex-wife using that arguement, but we did MC in Denmark and the MC tore that to pieces (very politely).
First off... I really appreciate that your on this form because I like getting perspective from people that are able to put themselves in my boyfriends position so I can learn. I may not necessarily agree with you, but they doesn’t mean I don’t take in what your saying.
As far as your wife goes I totally get her perspective, I hate asking and I don’t think I have to. It’s a bad thing when someone checks out and waits to be asked because they feel like nothing is ever good enough. I don’t want this to be my future. But at the same time, I want my man to step up more.
I don’t want a mom/son relationship. This is what I fear. I don’t want to tell my man what to do, I don’t want to scold him, I don’t want to feel like I am taking care of him, I don’t want him to fear making me mad. I don’t want to be mean mommy. There will be a lot of resentment on both sides and I honestly think that’s why people eventually get divorced or cheat.
I think you and I can learn a lot from each other.